Have you looked at yourself lately? It's not good. When I came in to work today, I glanced over at your desk and thought someone had left an overstuffed bag of laundry on your chair. (It was you.) I'm telling you this as a friend: People are starting to talk. It seems the holidays' unbridled odyssey of sweet breads, chocolate fudge and grain alcohol has turned your once (let's be honest) barely respectable figure into something more closely resembling a bloated bridge troll.
But don't freak. I'm fairly certain that this workout mix I've put together will get you back down to your fighting weight, assuming there's a boxing class a notch above "Very Heavyweight."
You Got Tickets To The Show, Right?