Bumpin' Beats For Pumpin' Iron

Pumping Iron

Let it be known that my engine goes from 0 to 130 beats per minute in less time than it takes a juice-head to return to Karma. But before I beast out my sets, I must do three things:

1. Review "The Gun Show" for inspiration.

2. Shotgun a Muscle Milk.

3. Blast the house beats.

When I want house music, I want a relentless bass kick that beats any inkling of trepidation into submission. Whether I'm pumping my fist or triple-stacked barbells, I need the positive reinforcement so often found in the vocals of these tissue-tearing bangers. When I shred muscle, I want the lead singer to tell me I'm worth every ounce of whey that I've shoved down my esophagus, and I need redundant synthesizers to test the limits of my testo-stamina. And, of course, I want 'roid-rattling beats to massage my inflated sense of manliness. LET'S GO.

Bumpin' Beats For Pumpin' Iron

Ghetto Pass

Thunderstruck Shorter

  • Artist: Various Artists
  • Song: Thunderstruck Shorter
  • From: Ghetto Pass

My head coach in high school had a warm-up mix that consisted of William Wallace's famous speech in Braveheart and AC/DC's greatest hits: Freakin' awesome, right? But what's even awesomer is that DC native Tittsworth has put a moving Baltimore house beat under "Thunderstruck," and the Muscle Milk has just hit my system.

This album is available from Amazon.

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Pump Up The Jam

Pump Up The Jam

  • Artist: Technotronic
  • Song: Pump Up The Jam
  • From: Pump Up the Jam

Now that I'm warmed up, I need to get pumped up -- and there's a difference. My heart rate hasn't yet matched the optimal house tempo. Which is why I've picked a song that explicitly instructs me to "pump it up" and "make my day." Keeping it retro with Technotronic should bring me up to speed.

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Song
Pump Up The Jam
Album
Pump Up the Jam
Artist
Technotronic
Label
Kontor
Released
1990

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I Love Techno 2009

Knobbers

  • Artist: Crookers
  • Song: Knobbers
  • From: I Love Techno 2009

Now that I'm peaking and the sweat has started to pour, it's time to throw on something with a bit more energy. What I want to know is, can you stomach the fidget-electro? Crookers doesn't have time for aquarobics, jazzercise or any other namby-pamby workout routines; these guys press plates at 130 repetitions per minute. "Now push it."

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Song
Knobbers
Album
I Love Techno 2009
Artist
Crookers
Label
Lektroluv
Released
2009

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DJ Sega

Push It 2 Da Limit

  • Artist: Dj Sega
  • Song: Push It 2 Da Limit
  • From: Dj Sega Mixtape

At this point, my muscles are flooded with lactic acid, my callused hands are trembling under dumbbells and my ego is faltering in the vicinity of the other guys in the gym. At times like these, I think to myself, "What would Tony Montana do?" So I put on DJ Sega's remix of Paul Engemann's classic "Scarface (Push It to the Limit)" and let my voice ring loudly throughout the weight room, "You think you can take me? You need a [expletive] army if you gonna take me!"

DJ Sega's Myspace.

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Party Bros

Power

  • Artist: Party Bros.
  • Song: Power
  • From: Power

After any good workout, it's important that instead of resting, you go out and party, which is why I work it out with the Party Bros. This tune is perfect for a post-exercise sweat on the dance floor -- and, with a brilliant sample from Snap's classic jam, I'm reminded of how powerful I really am.

Party Bros' Myspace.

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