Welcome To The World, Samantha Commentator Brian McConnachie welcomes a neighbor's baby to this world -- and points out some small but interesting -- reasons to be happy to arrive. He notes the wonderful names of cleaning products and the high quality of our shoelaces.
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Welcome To The World, Samantha

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Welcome To The World, Samantha

Welcome To The World, Samantha

Welcome To The World, Samantha

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Commentator Brian McConnachie welcomes a neighbor's baby to this world — and points out some small but interesting — reasons to be happy to arrive. He notes the wonderful names of cleaning products and the high quality of our shoelaces.

ROBERT SIEGEL, Host:

The approach of January heralds a new beginning. And for a new neighbor of commentator Brian McConnachie, that is a literal description of her status, a newborn whom he welcomes to this world.

BRIAN MCCONNACHIE: Then, before you know it, Samantha, you'll be tying your own shoes. Do you know that the strongest shoelaces in the world are made right here in the U.S.? That's why the authorities take them away when they put you behind bars.

W: As you keep growing, you're going to have heroes who reflect the talent of the American character. Some of mine are E.B. White, Willie Mays, George Gershwin and Martha Stewart.

Y: And speaking of mashed potatoes, Samantha, we are also a musical people who love to dance. You'll probably begin with the Chicken Dance, the Bunny Hop and the Hokey Pokey, and then move on to the more interpretive styles of the Watusi, the Frug and the Bump, followed by the cha-cha, twist and tango, then waltzing your way to the "Macarena," on through the Mashed Potato and the Lambada, the forbidden dance of love, all the way on to hot dance disco.

MCCONNACHIE: So, Samantha, in conclusion, as Lincoln said to de Tocqueville, most people are as happy as they want to be. But to paraphrase Dorothy, if you can't find happiness under your own kitchen sink, maybe you should check under the bathroom sink. But if it isn't there, you know what, blame it on the bossa nova.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

SIEGEL: Brian McConnachie lives in New York's Hudson River Valley.

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