Accidentally, 'Autocorrect' Makes Good Texts Go Bad

Damn You, Autocorrect!: Awesomely Embarrassing Text Messages You Didn't Mean to Send by Jillian Madison.
 
Damn You, Autocorrect!
By Jillian Madison
Paperback, 288 pages
Hyperion
List Price: $13.99

As the curator of the website damnyouautocorrect.com, Jillian Madison receives hundreds of autocorrected text message a day. Smartphone users know that the autocorrect feature frequently changes whatever innocent message you wanted to send to your mother — or co-worker — into something wildly embarrassing or just plain weird.

Among the more frequent submissions Madison receives to her site: "haha" changes into "Shabaka," who was actually an Egyptian pharaoh; "hell" morphs into "he'll"; "pick me up" turns into "oil me up." And it's easy to see how the autocorrect of "kids" into "LSD" could cause a bit of confusion and concern.

"If you say, you know, 'I'm going to run and pick up the kids,' it often turns into, 'I'm going to run and pick up the LSD. I'll be home in a little while,' " Madison tells Renee Montagne on Morning Edition.

Linguist Ben Zimmer says that the history of automatic spellcheckers goes back to Microsoft Word and other word processors, but the technology for smartphones differs from those because it tries to understand what the user means based on both the proximity of the letters to each other on that tiny little virtual keyboard and on completing a word based on what it thinks you meant.

So if you're trying to tell a friend about a great double play by "Derek Jeter," don't be surprised if your phone turns that into "Derek heterosexual." Because the phone's dictionary might not recognize Jeter, it turns the J to a close letter on the keyboard – H — and completes the new word, "heter," that it's now created.

Sometimes the autocorrections have a sort of poetic ring of truth to them – like "Grandpa bought me a corn dog from the devil," instead of "deli." But others could cause minor heart palpitations and raise your blood pressure a few notches.

One girl named Hannah received a text from her father that said, "Your mom and I are going to divorce next month." Big news to share in a text — except the father quickly corrected himself, sayying, "I wrote Disney and this phone changed it. We are going to Disney."

Damn You, Autocorrect's collection of texts includes more than a few exchanges that, well, aren't fit for print in good company. Simply put, autocorrect seems to have its mind in the gutter.

Jillian Madison founded the Pophangover blog network, which includes Food Network Humor in addition to Damn You, Autocorrect! She lives in Fairfield County, Conn.

hide captionJillian Madison founded the Pophangover blog network, which includes Food Network Humor in addition to Damn You, Autocorrect! She lives in Fairfield County, Conn.

Courtesy Jillian Madison

As Madison says, "Autocorrect has a mind of its own, and it's often a very dirty mind."

Zimmer points out that this tendency toward the tasteless comes partly from self-selection — the funniest autocorrects are usually the most hilariously inappropriate. These texts get submitted to the Damn You, Autocorrect website more often than innocuous ones.

"But I think it also says something about the sociology of these situations," Zimmer says. "You're texting with your parents or co-workers or loved ones. And there's a whole panoply of new, embarrassing situations you can find yourself in."

When your phone autocorrects "I'll be around later" to "I'll be aroused later" in a text to your boss, a whole new level of mortifying sets in. It's a brand new way for some already-fraught social situations to become embarrassing.

So what's the solution — just turn the autocorrect off? The technology does get better over time by learning from your previous texts, and the answer may just be to take an extra second to make sure you're not sending something you didn't mean to. When the wrong things do show up, Zimmer says, just have a laugh about it, and look at it as a chance to learn some new vocabulary:

"If 'holy moly' changes to 'holy molybdenum,' you can learn the name of an element on the periodic table," he suggests.

  • DamnYouAutocorrect.com cataloges the funniest — and usually most unfortunate — text message autocorrections, like this one resulting in a moment of panicked confusion for the recipient.
    Hide caption
    DamnYouAutocorrect.com cataloges the funniest — and usually most unfortunate — text message autocorrections, like this one resulting in a moment of panicked confusion for the recipient.
  • Jill Madison curates the website, which has recently been turned into a book. As those with smartphones (or who spend time perusing the site) know, sometimes it's just too much to even attempt to make yourself heard.
    Hide caption
    Jill Madison curates the website, which has recently been turned into a book. As those with smartphones (or who spend time perusing the site) know, sometimes it's just too much to even attempt to make yourself heard.
  • A classic hallmark of the autocorrect fallout is a cautious, "Hello?" when the other texter stops responding after an (unintentionally) offensive text.
    Hide caption
    A classic hallmark of the autocorrect fallout is a cautious, "Hello?" when the other texter stops responding after an (unintentionally) offensive text.
  • Unfortunate autocorrects can ruin dinner plans...
    Hide caption
    Unfortunate autocorrects can ruin dinner plans...
  • ...or become brainstorming sessions for bizarre new spinoffs.
    Hide caption
    ...or become brainstorming sessions for bizarre new spinoffs.
  • Ben Zimmer, a linguist and columnist for the New York Times Magazine, explains that the autocorrect feature changes words it doesn't recognize in its dictionary by looking at letters around it on the virtual keyboard it thinks you might have meant, and then by completing whatever new word it's come up with.
    Hide caption
    Ben Zimmer, a linguist and columnist for the New York Times Magazine, explains that the autocorrect feature changes words it doesn't recognize in its dictionary by looking at letters around it on the virtual keyboard it thinks you might have meant, and then by completing whatever new word it's come up with.
  • Zimmer says that the texts submitted to the site are usually embarassing because of their sociological nature — you're texting with friends, loved ones, or co-workers, like this text shows. There's a "whole new panoply" of embarassing situations you can find yourself in, he says.
    Hide caption
    Zimmer says that the texts submitted to the site are usually embarassing because of their sociological nature — you're texting with friends, loved ones, or co-workers, like this text shows. There's a "whole new panoply" of embarassing situations you can find yourself in, he says.
  • DamnYouAutocorrect.com was launched in October of 2010; this screengrab was one of the first to become popular on the site.
    Hide caption
    DamnYouAutocorrect.com was launched in October of 2010; this screengrab was one of the first to become popular on the site.
  • It's usually the nonchalant nature of statements — "Your mother and I are going to divorce next month," or "Sorry I missed your calll. I just got arrested" that should tip off texters that perhaps there's a typo in the message. But as this conversation shows, sometimes it's more natural to just flip out over the dispassionate disclosures.
    Hide caption
    It's usually the nonchalant nature of statements — "Your mother and I are going to divorce next month," or "Sorry I missed your calll. I just got arrested" that should tip off texters that perhaps there's a typo in the message. But as this conversation shows, sometimes it's more natural to just flip out over the dispassionate disclosures.

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by Jillian Madison

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