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Bluff The Listener

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Bluff The Listener

Bluff The Listener

Bluff The Listener

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Our panelists tell us three stories of David Hasselhoff's next project, only one of which is true.

CARL KASELL, Host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Roy Blount, Jr., Kyrie O'Connor and Adam Felber. And here again is your host, at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center in Nashville, Tennessee, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Thank you, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you everybody. Thank you so much. You are a friendly bunch. But right now, it is time for the WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MATTHEW FISHER: Hey, this is Matthew Fisher from Arlington, Texas.

SAGAL: Hey, how are you, Matt?

FISHER: Good.

SAGAL: What do you do there in Arlington?

FISHER: I work for the police department down in the jail. I'm a detention officer.

SAGAL: Really, you're a prison guard in Arlington, Texas?

FISHER: Yes, sir.

SAGAL: Is that exciting work?

FISHER: Yeah, it's always interesting.

SAGAL: Really?

FISHER: Yeah.

SAGAL: You don't know any given day what's going to be thrown at you, I assume.

FISHER: No, no. It's always something different.

SAGAL: Wow.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Matt, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Carl, what is Matt's topic?

KASELL: They call me the Hoff.

SAGAL: David Hasselhoff has been an actor, producer, musical innovator, one of the most significant cultural figures of the last two decades.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But what is next for the Hoff? Each of our panelists will tell you what David Hasselhoff is doing to follow up on his triumphs on Baywatch and Knightrider. Only one of these stories is true, so far. Ready to play?

FISHER: Yeah.

SAGAL: First, let's hear from Adam Felber.

ADAM FELBER: After conquering stage, screen and recorded music, the last lively art available has finally fallen to David Hasselhoff, with the opening of the new theme restaurant this month in Las Vegas. The House of Hoff, covered in memorabilia, and devoted to all things Hassel-rific, also features a menu that has a distinctly self-deprecating take on the Hoff's career.

Celebrate the greatest physiques in TV history when you order up a Baywatch Milkshake.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Hasselhoff nods at his fame in Germany with his reich-pilaf. And of course, there's the signature dish, the 3 a.m. drunk burger.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Quote, "good enough to eat off the floor."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The House of Hoff, a theme restaurant in Las Vegas. Your next story of a Hoffer you can't refuse...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Comes from Kyrie O'Connor.

KYRIE O: If your first response to the name David Hasselhoff is "I want to lick his torso," then Del Monte ice cream has exactly the product for you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: The Hoffsicle, a frighteningly realistic replica of Hasselhoff, from the waist up, on a stick, was created by Del Monte for ice cream week with the slogan "as smooth as ice."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: It comes complete with the trademark rock hard abs, jutting chin and jaunty jacket and a stick.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: A promotional video of Hasselhoff shows him first slurping on his raspberry-flavored self, pronouncing is Hoffilicious, and then passing the unsanitary hunk on a stick to a young blonde women on the street. No footage is shown of her biting off his icy head.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CONNOR: A slightly defensive Hasselhoff has the last word. "They will not be licking on me," he admonishes, "they'll be licking a popsicle. And it's weird at all, it's very cool."

SAGAL: The Hoffsicle.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: An ice cream confection, a frozen confection in the shape of Mr. Hasselhoff's torso. Your last story of a Hoffully good idea comes from Roy Blount, Jr.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT: How will those wacky South Park boys follow their unlikely Broadway smash "The Book of Mormon"? According to the pop culture site TMZ, they're planning an even less likely feature film, a loose adaptation of the classic musical "42nd Street," starring David Hasselhoff.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: In a dual role. That's right, the Hoff will hoof and, of course, sing as Julian Marsh, the aging Broadway director and womanizer, and also as Dorothy Brock, the aging Broadway performer and, of course, woman.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: By show's end, these two realize that the great white way now belongs to kids who have gone out there as youngsters and come back as stars. Julian and Dorothy have also learned that their two hearts beat as one. And they'll settle down together in their old hometown upstate. And so they bring down the virtual curtain with - you know the grand old number - now called, with a wink, yes, but also with a new poignancy, Hasselhoff to Buffalo.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All righty then, here are your choices.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: One of these things is the next big thing in the life and career of David Hasselhoff. Is it a restaurant in Las Vegas from Adam Felber, it's called the House of Hoff. From Kyrie O'Connor, the Hoffsicle, a frozen treat that looks just like Mr. Hasselhoff with his shirt off? Or from Roy Blount, Jr, a move of the musical "42nd Street" in which David Hasselhoff will play both the male and female leads? Which of these is the real next step in Hasselhoff's career?

FISHER: I think it's the restaurant.

SAGAL: You think it's the restaurant, the House of Hoff?

FISHER: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, your choice is Adam's story. But to bring you the correct answer, well let's listen to an advertisement for Hoff's next venture.

DAVID HASSELHOFF: Hi, it's David Hasselhoff, here with my new friend, I call it the Hoffsicle.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That was David Hasselhoff himself, talking about the Hoffsicle, as gross as it is unlikely, but it is real.

FISHER: Oh my gosh.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm sorry, Matt; Kyrie O'Connor obviously had the real answer. Two bits of good news, however, you did win a point for Adam.

FELBER: Thank you.

SAGAL: And maybe gave David Hasselhoff an idea for his next thing.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And the second bit of good news is that you do not have to eat a Hoffsicle. So thank you so much for playing. We appreciate you calling.

FISHER: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

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