Limericks Carl reads three news-related limericks: Must Be The French Fries, You're Only As Old As You Look, and Spoiler Alert!
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Limericks

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Limericks

Limericks

Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks: Must Be The French Fries, You're Only As Old As You Look, and Spoiler Alert!

PETER SAGAL, Host:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on the air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows, most weeks back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago. You can also check out their "How To Do Everything," the new podcast from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week, how not to disappoint your daughter when she asks for a pony.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.

BOBBY THOMPSON: Hi there, this is Bobby Thompson from Kaneohe, Hawaii.

SAGAL: Kaneohe, whoa.

THOMPSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: That sounds like a fun place. Where is that exactly?

THOMPSON: It's on the windward side, the northeast facing side of Oahu.

SAGAL: Oh wow, that's a nice place to be. What do you do there?

THOMPSON: I'm a grad student studying oceanography.

SAGAL: Oh, and there happens to be an ocean right there. How convenient.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

THOMPSON: Really it worked out just great that way.

SAGAL: I'm glad to hear it. Now, Bobby, you are going to play the Listener Limerick Challenge. Carl Kasell will perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Of course, your job, fill in that last word or phrase. Complete the limerick. Do that two times out of three, you will win our prize. Ready to play?

THOMPSON: I'm ready.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, Host:

For my baby's petite wittle feets, I am buying athletical treats. Mere weeks after birth, he can tear up the turf. I got him some small baseball?

THOMPSON: Cleats.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thanks to the Kirkland Community, athletic shoes with cleats will now be available for kids aged nothing up to six months.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: To help get their athletic career started before they have any motor control whatsoever.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just because you can't walk, doesn't mean you can't break up a double play.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For kids that really want to get a head start, Pampers is offering diapers with a built in cup, and you can now get steroids in a sippy syringe.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: Wherever I look, there's cheek-squeezers, and old "pull my finger" fat teasers. We're having a boom of men past their bloom. The world's overrun by old?

THOMPSON: Geezers.

SAGAL: Very nice.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Over the past decade, the number of men 65 and over roaming the earth has jumped by roughly 20 percent, and they'll soon become the dominant demographic. That's right, it's their lawn and we're just standing on it.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: It's going to change MTV a little bit, that's all I got to say.

SAGAL: It's going to be a world of lots of old men and women getting plastic surgery.

FELBER: Yes.

SAGAL: The hip hop videos in particular are going to be different.

FELBER: Yeah, they're just going to be hip videos.

POUNDSTONE: They're going to be...

SAGAL: No, they're going to be artificial hip hop videos. Thank you, thank you very much.

FELBER: Well done.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, they're going to be hip replacement videos.

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: My wife is a plot-thread uncoiler. She revealed that the bomb's in the boiler. Now I am wise to the story's surprise. I am happy 'cause I heard a?

THOMPSON: Spoiler.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, a spoiler.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A surprising new study at UC San Diego claims that contrary to popular belief, begin told the ending of a story you're involved with, ahead of time, increases your enjoyment of that story or movie or book. Like, you'd all be happy if I told you Rosebud was really a man, and that he's dead the whole time.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, and by the way, Adam wins today.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I'm going to enjoy that more when that happens.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Bobby do?

KASELL: Well, Bobby's a winner, Peter. Three correct answers, so Bobby, I'll be doing the voicemail on your voicemail.

SAGAL: Well done.

THOMPSON: Excellent.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you, Bobby.

THOMPSON: Thank you.

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