Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: A Kinder, Gentler Daddy; The Lampshade On Your Head Explained; and Tehran Dries Off.

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PETER SAGAL, host: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website, which is waitwait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and check out the latest "How to Do Everything" podcast from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week: how to create your own TV show. That's at howtodoeverything.org.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

DAVE KALETA: Hi, Peter. This is Dave Kaleta from Hyde Park, Chicago.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things back in Chicago?

KALETA: They're pretty good.

SAGAL: They're pretty good. Do you miss us at all?

KALETA: I do.

SAGAL: Thank you.

KALETA: Come back soon please.

SAGAL: Does it feel a little empty and hollow when we're not in town?

KALETA: It does, very much so.

SAGAL: Oh thank you. Well welcome to the show, Dave. You're, of course, going to play the Limerick Challenge. You're going to listen as Carl reads for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?

KALETA: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, host: I once was a bit of a cad, but now I'm a housebroken lad. Testosterone slid since the birth of our kid. I'm less manly 'cause I am a?

KALETA: Hmm. I think I might need a hint on this one.

SAGAL: Well let's hear it again. Let's hear it again.

KALETA: Okay.

KASELL: I once was a bit of a cad, but now I'm a housebroken lad. Testosterone slid since the birth of our kid. I'm less manly 'cause I am a?

KALETA: Dad.

SAGAL: Yeah, dad, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Caring for children causes a steep drop in a man's testosterone levels, according to a new study. This keeps new dads at home, instead of out chasing women. So babies get the care they need and frazzled moms get something to yell at.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Basically, having kids makes you less manly. Can you imagine if it made you even manlier? When your wife is nursing, you stand there shouting "take it all off." Or trying to stuff dollar bills in her maternity pants, it wouldn't be good.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PETER GROSZ: I believe they're called yoga pants.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: My colleagues all think I'm a jerk 'cause alcohol drives me berserk. When I'm at the bar, I don't go too far, but I'm crazy at parties at?

KALETA: Work.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Do not blame yourself for making a complete fool of yourself at the office party. Now you can blame science.

According to researchers in England, of course, drinking in settings not normally associated with drinking, such as your workplace, confuses your brain and makes you less able to control your behavior. Also, of course, if you're in a bar and a photocopy of your butt seems like something you really have to have, in a bar you have to go out to Kinko's.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT: I've always wondered why it was so hard for me to get a drink in a Kinko's.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: We're going to have to ask you to leave again.

SAGAL: Yeah. Sir, we told you after last time. Here, sir, is your last limerick.

KASELL: I think water fights promise some pert fun. Folks get wet, yes, but show me the hurt one, but here in Iran they're enforcing a ban and Tehran is forbidding my?

KALETA: Squirt gun.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The authoritarian government of Iran has already banned gmail, pet cats and mullets. And now they are cracking down on water gun fights. At one particularly big fight in Tehran, dozens of pretend fighters were thrown in a non-pretend jail.

You know, we hope they can rise up against this, but it may be hard to inspire a freedom movement by saying let us struggle so our children may somebody grow their hair long in back and shoot their pet cats with super soakers.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: I can't believe we allowed Iran to get squirt gun technology.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: The Israelis really should have taken care of this for us, you know, bomb their squirt gun factories.

SAGAL: They promised to use it only for peaceful uses.

GROSZ: Yeah.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Dave do on our quiz?

KASELL: Dave had three correct answers, Peter. So Dave, I'll be doing the message on your voicemail.

SAGAL: Well done, Dave.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

KALETA: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.

KALETA: Thank you very much, Peter.

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