Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Rooty Tooty You Might Get Booted, Halloween Gets A Bit Less Orange, and The Secret of Pop Success.

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PETER SAGAL, host: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the contact us link on our website at waitwait.npr.org. You can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium or our show in Indianapolis on October 27th.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MARYANN MCCUBBIN: Hi, this is MaryAnn from Salisbury, North Carolina.

SAGAL: Now, Salisbury, I don't know where that is. Where exactly is that in North Carolina?

MCCUBBIN: Oh, it's a lovely small southern town.

SAGAL: Yes.

MCCUBBIN: Settled between Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and Charlotte, North Carolina, on I-85.

SAGAL: Okay.

MCCUBBIN: You should come down and see us.

SAGAL: I will, absolutely.

BRIAN BABYLON: And leave the light on.

SAGAL: Don't move, I'll be right there.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

MCCUBBIN: Hey.

SAGAL: Well welcome to the show, MaryAnn. Carl Kasell, also a son of North Carolina.

MCCUBBIN: I know.

CARL KASELL, host: Right.

SAGAL: Is going to

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That was very sultry.

BABYLON: Tar heel.

JESSI KLEIN: Yes.

KASELL: We tar heels stick together.

SAGAL: I bet you do. MaryAnn, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

KASELL: Our IHOP's a hipness-announcer. Velvet ropes are the confidence trouncer. We're in the East Village, so fear a great pillage. We've hired a big, scary?

MCCUBBIN: Bouncer.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Bouncer, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The bouncer outside the new IHOP in New York City's East Village may make it look like a hot new club, but no, it's just an IHOP.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The idea is he's going to stand guard all night to keep drunk partiers in check and only let in those who fit that distinct international IHOP look.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's like, I'm sorry, sir, but unless you look like you're about to vomit on yourself, I can't let you in.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I used to work at an IHOP you know.

SAGAL: Did you really?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. And I rescued a man from drowning in his over-easies.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: His eggs?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. How did he come to be drowning in his own eggs?

Well he passed out.

SAGAL: Apparently, Paula, the idea here is that IHOPs are open late, or early, depending, and the idea is a lot of drunk people show up at IHOPs.

POUNDSTONE: Yes, they do.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And they want a bouncer to keep things from getting rowdy.

POUNDSTONE: I didn't have that luxury.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because after 15 mojitos, the one thing you want is a pint of boysenberry syrup. Let's go.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: But the thing is it kind of is what you want. That's what IHOP knows.

SAGAL: All right, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: The hurricane rains have been dumpkins on the fields where the gourds have been plumpkins. So this Halloween, few carved lanterns will gleam, 'cause there is a shortage of?

MCCUBBIN: Pumpkins.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Farmers blame the great pumpkin shortage of 2011 on Hurricane Irene, when really it's the thousands suffering from devastating pumpkin spice latte addiction.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In any event, don't worry, our government is stepping up. House Leader John Boehner has heroically agreed to step in as our national Jack-O-Lantern.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: I'm glad you said that, because I know this is risky, but at that president speech, the last one, it was the vice president, Barack Obama and that other black guy, who was sitting behind.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Who was that guy? Who's that other black guy back there? It was John Boehner.

SAGAL: There you are.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: It was weird.

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: A pop song is far from comp lit. Just stick in a prurient bit. Improve the chart rating with words about mating. Yes, sex is what makes a big?

MCCUBBIN: Hit.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to a study published in the journal Evolutionary Biology, the key to making a hit pop song is to fill it with sex, or as they put it, "reproductive messages."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Thank you, Journal of Evolutionary Biology, for pointing that out.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It is true, though, you look back through the greatest hits of all time and it's filled with songs like the Rolling Stone's "Satisfaction" or the Beatles' "I Want to hold Your Boobs."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm waiting for the first, like, successful pop group to actually use the words "reproductive message" in a song. It will rocket.

BABYLON: (Singing) I want a reproductive message.

SAGAL: There you go.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: It could have been REM.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We don't know; they tend to mumble.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Carl, how did MaryAnn do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, MaryAnn, you had three correct answers, so I'll be doing the message on your voicemail.

MCCUBBIN: Yay.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

MCCUBBIN: I'm so excited. Thank you so much.

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