Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Headline Game

Carl reads recent newspaper headlines to our panelists and they have to guess which one is real.

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CARL KASELL, host: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Tom Bodett and Faith Salie. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, host: Thank you, Carl. Thank you so much.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl celebrates Rhyme Hoshana, the Limerick New Year.

TOM BODETT: Oh god.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Generations of ancestors of mine just spun in their graves. If you'd like to help him celebrate, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Bur first, panelists, it's time now for a round of the new game that we call?

KASELL: Extra. Extra. Read all about it.

SAGAL: All right, so as we've done before, Carl is going to read each of you three headlines, one of which was actually found in a newspaper recently. Pick the real one and you get a point. First up, for Maz, a story from the National Post of Canada, it has a certain Canadian flavor. Was it A?

KASELL: Unclean Poutine Sends Teens to Latrine.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: B?

KASELL: Sister Hits Moose On Way To Visit Sister Who Hit Moose.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or C?

KASELL: Mountie Blames Horse For Lost Desire To Mount.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: Uh-oh. I like all three of those.

SAGAL: They're good.

JOBRANI: Let's go with - I'd like to go with C, but I'm going to go with A.

SAGAL: You're going to go with A: Unclean Poutine Sends Teens To Latrine?

JOBRANI: I like it.

SAGAL: I do too, but it was really Sister Hits Moose On Way To Visit Sister Who Hit Moose.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: One sister ended up in the hospital after she hit the moose with her car. Her sister went to visit and a big furry ball of irony jumped out in front of her car.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Faith you're up next. This is from the New York Daily News and it concerns some news at an outdoor market. Was it A?

KASELL: Old Man Accused Of Squeezing Young Melons.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: B?

KASELL: Pilferer Picks A Peck Of Pickled Peppers, Also Several Purses.

SAGAL: Or C?

KASELL: Vendors Banned From Cutting The Cheese Outside.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: Oh, I want it to be C.

SAGAL: How badly do you want it to be C?

SALIE: Really badly.

SAGAL: You got it, yes, C.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The city says vendors must only cut the cheese in licensed facilities indoors, which, you know, probably just makes it worse. All right, Tom, this one's for you. Last time, from the Metro, it's a celebrity story. Was it A?

KASELL: Justin Bieber Just In Rehab.

SAGAL: Or B?

KASELL: Fergie Isn't Pregnant, Just Really Likes Tacos.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or C?

KASELL: Robert De Niro De Nearly De Capitated?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Oh I love that one. I'm going to go with the one I love.

SAGAL: What?

BODETT: De Nearly De Capitated.

SAGAL: De Nearly De Capitated. It could happen, but it didn't. It was really Fergie Isn't Pregnant, Just Really Likes Tacos.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Hilarious.

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