Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Downward Facing Leno; The Cost of Getting Dumped; and a Moment in the Kitchen, A Lifetime on the Hips.

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PETER SAGAL, host: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Or you can click the contact us link on our website, wait wait.npr.org; there you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show on October 27th in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MOLLY O'NEILL: Hi, Peter.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

O'NEILL: This is Molly O'Neill, a lesbian in Friday Harbor, Washington.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So is that what you do there I guess?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

O'NEILL: I wish. I'm single.

SAGAL: So, Molly, when you're not lesbianing, what do you do in Friday Harbor?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

O'NEILL: Earlier this year I was going crazy, and I'll give you - I'm in menopause, but that turned out to be computers. So I've

SAGAL: You know, we've only known each other for 30 seconds or so.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But I feel as if I know you really well.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

O'NEILL: Well, Peter, you do, because I've been listening to your show for years.

SAGAL: Right.

O'NEILL: So I feel very intimate with you.

SAGAL: It's even now.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Molly, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is now going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, host: While downward dog stretches my calf, the hyena pose cracks up the staff. Our yoga's a joke and it's mirth we provoke with our poses that make us all?

O'NEILL: Oh, I was afraid this would happen.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It rhymes with calf, staff.

FAITH SALIE: The word joke's in there.

SAGAL: The word joke is in there, that's true.

O'NEILL: Oh, laugh.

SAGAL: Uh-huh.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Laugh, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This week we read about laugh yoga. It's been around for a while, getting really popular. Anyone can do laugh yoga. All you do is laugh. You just laugh and you're doing laugh yoga. It's a great way to cover for yourself when you're in your regular yoga class and the guy in front of you looks hilarious in his warrior pose. Oh no, man, I'm just doing laugh yoga.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: Newly single, my ego has slumped. I'll spend money on getting de-frumped. To rebound with skill includes a steep bill. I pay five hundred pounds when I'm?

SAGAL: Rhymes with slumped, de-frumped.

O'NEILL: When I'm dumped.

SAGAL: Yes, when you're dumped, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not you personally, Mollie, don't get worried.

O'NEILL: Oh, I was dumped a long time ago.

SAGAL: According to a recent British survey, getting dumped costs women roughly $850. That's because getting a revenge makeover costs a lot of money. They've got to get their hair and nails done, buy some new clothes and shoes, join a gym, pay Ryan Gosling to accompany them at all times, in case they run into their ex in the street. Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: Any scrap on the counter's for me. If it's out, then I'll have it for tea. When the kitchen's not clean, I'm an eating machine. And I chow down the first thing I?

O'NEILL: See.

SAGAL: Yes, you got it.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

O'NEILL: Oh cool, I got it on my own.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Scientists at Cornell have figured out why you're fat. It's because you have an entire room in your house dedicated to the storage of food. Did you know that? And while that should be enough proof, the scientists also say the way you store and display food in your kitchen makes you fat as well. Not to mention the chocolate fountain you installed in your bathroom not helping.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

TOM BODETT: You know, this just isn't true. We have a table in the middle of our kitchen and we keep it loaded with fruit because we have small kids.

SAGAL: Right.

BODETT: And we always are grazing. And week after week we just watch that fruit rot.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Every now and then, if your kids are like mine, they'll pick up the fruit to see if that's where you put the M&Ms.

BODETT: Right, right.

SAGAL: If it's not, put it down and walk away.

BODETT: We actually built a giant slingshot last week where we're sending the pears and apples out into the field.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Mollie do on our quiz?

KASELL: Molly, you had three correct answers, so I'll be doing the message on your voicemail. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Well done, Molly, congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

O'NEILL: Yes.

SAGAL: Thank you, Molly.

O'NEILL: Thank you, Peter.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

O'NEILL: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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