Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Doggone Advertising, A Fonzie Approach to Learning, and Another Thing That Happens in Vegas.

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PETER SAGAL, host: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org; there you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and also our upcoming shows on the road in Indianapolis October 27th and Lexington, Kentucky, on December 8th.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!.

KRIS KING: Hi, this is Kris King from Livingston, Montana.

SAGAL: Oh, it's beautiful up there. What do you do in Livingston?

KING: I am the development director for the Stafford Animal Shelter.

SAGAL: Oh, okay, that's cool. Because you're in Montana, is it just cats and dogs or do you also have like bison?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KING: We're actually the only shelter in the region that takes in animals other than cats and dogs. So we have ferrets and iguanas and parakeets and somebody brought in what they thought was an exotic animal and it turned out to be a large pack rat.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Really?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: What did they think it was?

KING: They thought that it was a chinchilla.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh look, honey...

PJ O'ROURKE: Oh, I'll tell you, give your wife a pack rat coat and you will find out the difference.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Chris. Carl Kasell now is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?

KING: I am so ready.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, host: The food that this TV ad flogs will not make the fine dining blogs. It's an ultra high pitch that makes ears and tails twitch. It's an ad aimed directly at?

KING: Dogs.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This will be relevant to you. The makers of Beneful dog food - very good - have made the first ever TV commercial aimed at the individuals actually eating their food, the dogs. The ads feature a high-pitched whistle only dogs can hear, and they go nuts. And the stupid humans then believe the dogs are going nuts for the pictures of the dog food and they buy the stuff.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If this works, beer companies might start broadcasting pictures of women in bikinis to trick women into thinking that their husbands actually like beer.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: We actually played the audio of this on the radio show that I do and we told the listeners to gather the pets around the radio just to see what the effect would be. And no one got any positive reaction from their dogs. One person said their cat threw up a fur ball.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Hmm.

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: We know answers 'cause we are not dumb. But we signal like Fonzie, our chum. Raised arms in the school are far too uncool. To get called on, we stick up a?

KING: Oh, wait, wait don't tell me.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KING: Thumb.

SAGAL: A thumb, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yes, a thumb. Burlington Junior School in England has revolutionized classroom instruction by banning students from raising their hands. Instead, they're being told to give a Fonzie-style thumbs-up when they want to indicate an answer. School officials claim hand raising is both distracting and allows those Hermione Granger-types to dominate the classroom. The Fonzerelli system is less intrusive but has thrown the school's film criticism class into chaos.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: In Vegas, where we've all but banned clocks, the tourists spend hours smashing grand rocks. We've set up a rig that allows you to dig. And grown men come and play in our?

KING: Sandbox.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A Las Vegas company knows how annoying it is that your kid's sandbox is only for your kids, which is why they've built an adult sized sandbox called Dig This. For a few hundred dollars, you can eat all the sand you want and play around.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: With fully operational excavators and bulldozers in a giant box of sand, while your kids stare longingly from over on the side, drinking coffee and lamenting the passage of time.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Kris do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, Kris, you had three correct answers, so I'll be doing the message on your answering machine or voicemail. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Well done.

KING: Woo-Hoo.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.

KING: Thank you. You've my favorite.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

KING: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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