Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Something Spins Off Into The Sunset, Limited Mobility Is The New Black, and The Skinny On Why Your Partner Is Skinny.

Copyright © 2011 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, host: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924, or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and check out the latest "How to do Everything" podcast from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week: how to keep your cool when an asteroid is hurtling toward the earth.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

ALICE PEARSON: Hi, my name is Alice Pearson and I'm from Galina, Illinois.

SAGAL: Hey, Galina is a beautiful place. I've been out there. What do you do there?

PEARSON: I'm a teacher.

SAGAL: Oh, what do you teach?

PEARSON: English, history and current events to high school students.

SAGAL: And how are they putting up with that?

PEARSON: Oh, they just love it.

SAGAL: Do they really?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PEARSON: Oh yes.

SAGAL: Are you encouraged for our future, teaching our youth?

PEARSON: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah. You sound confident. Alice, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: Single downloads are cheap, they feel free. All the world merely buys MP3s. And apartments lack spaces for big jewel cases, so we will stop pressing?

PEARSON: CDs.

SAGAL: Yes, CDs.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Very good. Just as the Mayans predicted, in 2012, the major record labels will stop making CDs. It's just ten years after people stopped buying them.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's so odd. I'm an age I remember when those little silver discs were the coolest things in the world. Now the kids are like, hey, that's an adorable shiny frisbee you got there, oldster.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You guys going to miss CDs when they're gone?

TOM BODETT: No.

CHARLIE PIERCE: I still miss vinyl.

SAGAL: Yeah, well.

AMY DICKINSON: I don't know, I'm going to miss them. Yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah. Remember before everybody stole music online, you stole music by wearing puffy coats down to Sam Goody.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's your next limerick.

KASELL: Our relationship's due for a shake-up, 'cause my girlfriend did not order cake up. She's sealing our fate by losing some weight and skinniness leads to a?

PEARSON: Breakup.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Good news, your significant other has lost some weight, looking fit and thin. Bad news, it's not for you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: People on the prowl slim down, while people who are happy in their relationships tend to put on weight, according to scientists at Germany's Institute of Stuff We Already Knew.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So the next time your wife asks you if she looks fat in that dress, the best response: I sure hope so.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: Those tennis balls might help the grip, but my walker is one ugly trip. It needs redesign for a much sleeker line. Let's try to make walkers more?

PEARSON: Hip.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Nothing says cool and with it quite like a device intended to keep you from falling over.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Which is why, according to the Wall Street Journal this week, several companies have started selling walkers, you know, those things you use to help you walk, in a variety of hip colors and styles. Just the thing when you're behind the velvet rope waiting to get into the club at 4 p.m.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Alice do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, congratulations to Alice. Alice, you had three correct answers. You win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done, Alice.

PEARSON: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.

PEARSON: Thank you for having me.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

PEARSON: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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