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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Copyright © 2011 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL, HOST:

Roy Blount, Jr. has the lead, Peter. He has four points. Faith Salie has three; Adam Felber, two.

All right, so Adam, you are in the third place. You will go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a group of two dozen millionaires stormed Congress to ask the supercommittee to blank.

ADAM FELBER: Raise their taxes.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the ex boyfriend of a woman accusing blank of harassment came forward to support her story.

FELBER: Herman Cain.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In her first TV interview since being shot in January, congresswoman blank says she hopes to recover enough to return to work.

FELBER: Gabby Giffords.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British man was hospitalized with minor injuries after blanking in his backyard.

FELBER: Falling into a crater.

SAGAL: No, after getting run over by his model train set.

ROY BLOUNT: Oh, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: That'll happen.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, People magazine named actor Bradley Cooper as this year's blank.

FELBER: Sexiest man alive.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the Vatican said it would take legal action against a Benetton ad that shows blank kissing a Muslim Imam.

FELBER: The Pope.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For people who are hoping to lose weight without worrying about diet or exercise, a company in Japan is selling blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

FELBER: A parasite.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fat - that would be good. Fat burning underpants.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The MXP Calorie Shaper Pants are made of non-stretchy fabric coated with a resin that makes the wearer work extra hard while walking, thus expending more energy and burning more calories.

FELBER: Yes, yes, yes.

SAGAL: The makers warn weight loss could be localized, leading to that awkward compliment, "have you been working out? Your crotch looks amazing."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KASELL: Adam had five correct answers, for 10 more points. He now has 12 points and Adam has the lead.

SAGAL: All right, well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Now, Faith, you're up. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Mario Monti was officially sworn in as the new prime minister of blank.

FAITH SALIE: Italy.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On what was called a Day of Action Thursday, members of the blank movement marched on the New York Stock Exchange.

SALIE: Occupy Wall Street.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday police charged an Idaho man who shot at the White House with blank.

SALIE: Oh, with trying to assassinate the president.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to new research published this week, one in five Americans age 12 and older suffers from significant blank loss.

SALIE: Hearing.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An Ohio man was arrested after breaking into a home and blanking.

BLOUNT: So many Ohio men do, I mean...

FELBER: Yeah, it could have been anybody.

BLOUNT: Not specific enough.

SALIE: Wrestling with a snoring bear.

SAGAL: No, he broke into the house and he put up the Christmas decorations.

BLOUNT: Aw.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After inviting him via YouTube video, Marine Corporal Kelsey Desantis attended the Marine Corps Ball with blank.

SALIE: Justin Timberlake.

SAGAL: Yeah, ain't he a sweetie?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, NBC announced that it had hired blank as a full time special correspondent for NBC News.

SALIE: Chelsea Clinton.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Customers in Alabama hungry for a steak can now bypass the butcher and go straight to the blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SALIE: The cow.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, the meat vending machine.

FELBER: Flop.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hungry for a side of beef at 3 a.m. with change in your pocket? If you live in Odenville, Alabama, just go to the Smart Butcher vending machine at the Lil Mart convenience store, put in your quarters, and come home with a tasty lump of animal flesh. Watch out, though, you know what these machines are like. You hit the wrong button for your Snickers bar, you get haggis.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KASELL: Faith had six correct answers, for 12 more points. She now has 15 points and Faith has taken the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, then how many does Roy need to win?

KASELL: Six correct answers.

SAGAL: Oh, we can do this. This is not a problem for Roy.

BLOUNT: No.

SAGAL: Here we go, Roy. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. After last weekend's investigative piece on "60 Minutes," legislation to ban insider trading by members of blank gained momentum.

BLOUNT: Congress.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A backlash erupted after Target and other stores announced that this year they would be starting their blank sales before midnight on Thursday.

BLOUNT: Their Black Friday sales.

SAGAL: That's what they call them, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week King Abdullah of Jordan said the he thinks President Assad of blank should resign.

BLOUNT: Oh, I was going to say resign - Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an attempt to compete with iTunes, on Thursday blank launched a new music service.

BLOUNT: Google.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an interview with the Sun newspaper this week, Nicolas Cage revealed that he will only eat animals that blank.

BLOUNT: That have given their consent.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That would be nice. He said he'll only eat animals that mate in a dignified fashion.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, publicists announced that blankton blanker and blankee blank were getting divorced.

BLOUNT: Blankton blanker and blankee blank?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: I went to their wedding.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: Markie Mark and - no.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT: I don't know.

SAGAL: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

BLOUNT: Oh.

SAGAL: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association announced that comedian blank will host the Golden Globes again this year.

BLOUNT: Richie Gervais.

SAGAL: Ricky Gervais, but I'll give it to you.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BLOUNT: Ricky Gervais.

SAGAL: A LaGuardia-bound plane almost didn't make it this week when the pilot blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BLOUNT: Oh, he got locked in the restroom.

SAGAL: He did. He locked himself in the bathroom and couldn't get out to land the plane.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It really couldn't get more embarrassing for the flight crew - the pilot ran for a quick bathroom break and accidentally locked himself inside. The pilot eventually got out, but from now on pilots are now required to bring the key on the big wooden keychain along with them when they use the bathroom.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Roy do well enough to win?

KASELL: He needed six correct answers to win and he had six correct answers.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, well done.

KASELL: So with 16 points, Roy Blount, Jr., is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Yay, you're the best.

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