Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Make Yourself Facebookproof, Bookish Barbies, and Bass is the New Black.

Copyright © 2011 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org, there you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago.

You can check out the latest "How to do everything" podcast from our producers. This week: how to make a winter wonderland with only disposable diapers and a bowl of water.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.

PAT BILKEY: Hi, this is Pat Bilkey.

SAGAL: Where you calling from, Pat?

BILKEY: I'm calling from Sheboygan Falls in Wisconsin.

SAGAL: Sheboygan Falls, Wisconsin.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

BILKEY: You know Sheboygan Falls?

SAGAL: Well, when I was a kid, Sheboygan, Wisconsin was almost like a mythical place. What do you do there in Sheboygan? Sheboygan Falls I should say.

BILKEY: I have my own business.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BILKEY: It's called Possibilities.

SAGAL: Oh.

BILKEY: Where I offer possibilities of help and wealth to people.

SAGAL: Good for you.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Possibilities of health and wealth?

BILKEY: Yep.

POUNDSTONE: Just the possibility.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It could happen, you never know.

BILKEY: It could happen.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

MAZ JOBRANI: No guarantees.

POUNDSTONE: But you'd be a fool not to make the investment.

SAGAL: I know.

BILKEY: Exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Pat, welcome to the show.

BILKEY: Thank you, thank you.

SAGAL: Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to go?

BILKEY: I'm ready to go.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, HOST:

I can't be seen drinking in here and some pictures might hurt my career. So when cameras flash, my drink makes them crash. I am saved by my bottle of?

BILKEY: Beer.

SAGAL: Right, very good, Pat.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Tired of waking up to find embarrassing drunk photos of yourself on Facebook? Time to stop drinking so much. Just kidding. No, instead, you want to stop the photos with the Norte Photoblocker. This is an electronic beer cozy. It looks like it's just keeping your beer cold, but what it really is it's deflecting photos. If you put it down on a nearby surface next to you, it will detect camera flashes and it will fire flashes back, ruining the photos.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is true. Save you from that. And apparently, it does not serve as a he'll do for tonight blocker.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Am I right guys? You know what I mean about that? Very good, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: I'll watch toy-making elves a bit tighter. Plath and Kafka won't make Christmas brighter. I'll have to recall this strange line of dolls. What kid wants to play with a?

BILKEY: Lighter.

SAGAL: No, not a lighter. That is true, a kid would not want to play with a lighter. Well, they might.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: They would.

SAGAL: But there's some clues inside the limerick as well as the rhymes. You got the rhyme right. But listen for the clues, here we go again.

KASELL: I'll watch toy-making elves a bit tighter. Plath and Kafka won't make Christmas brighter. I'll have to recall this strange line of dolls. What kid wants to play with a?

BILKEY: Wow.

SAGAL: Plath and Kafka are examples.

BILKEY: Hmm, I'm not getting that one.

KASELL: You don't think so?

BILKEY: Huh-uh.

SAGAL: It's writer. Writer is the answer.

BILKEY: It's writer.

SAGAL: So if you want to get your child a doll this holiday season but you'd prefer to avoid Barbie or Bratz or Hasbro's new "Tiny Trollop" line, consider...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BILKEY: Oh my gosh.

SAGAL: Consider Etsy's Uneek Doll Designs. These are homemade dolls. You can buy your literary kid a little Joyce Carol Oates doll.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A Judy Blume, she's adorable. You should steer clear of the Sylvia Plath doll, though.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She's great at first; just keep her away from the Easy Bake oven.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is it too soon?

JESSI KLEIN: Is it too soon?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, now this is fun. You still have one more chance. If you get this one right, you'll still win.

BILKEY: Okay.

SAGAL: Here's your last limerick.

KASELL: That low crack when I sing is my choice, but my ENT doesn't rejoice. I end phrases real low where my cords shouldn't go. I'm so cool that I'm hurting my?

BILKEY: Voice.

SAGAL: Yes, voice, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: There is a hip new trend among teenage girls; it's speech impediments. Namely, "vocal fry" is what it is called. It was considered a speech disorder until Kesha and Britney Spears popularized it in their music. Basically, what it is, it's a kind of a creaky vibration that happens when you try to go lower than your natural voice. It's sort of you go like this and you got vocal fry.

You can get a sense of what you're actually talking about, I actually, in preparation, I secretly recorded my own teenage daughter just this morning. Here's an example of what vocal fry sounds like.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

SAGAL: I absolutely didn't understand where my daughter got that funk band.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They could keep a beat. It was all right.

KLEIN: I think your daughter's really good.

SAGAL: Yeah, I think she's great. I think she has a career.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

KASELL: Carl, how did Pat do on our quiz?

Pat, you did well enough. You had two correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done.

BILKEY: Wonderful.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

BILKEY: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.

BILKEY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Take care.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

Copyright © 2011 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!