Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Coming Out of Their Shells, Blame It on Fido, and A Fridge with Personality.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Or you can click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org, there you can find out about attending our weekly live shows that are here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and our upcoming show in Salt Lake City, Utah on February 16th. That should be great fun.

And check out our podcast, "How To Do Everything." This week: how to make your own Twinkies when Hostess goes out of business. You need to know.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MAE ISAAC: Hi, this is Mae Isaac from Briarcliff Manor, New York.

SAGAL: Briarcliff Manor?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.

ISAAC: I know, doesn't that sound great?

SAGAL: It does. It sounds like it's the setting of a PBS like British series, right after...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...it's Briarcliff Manor.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Mae, welcome to the show.

ISAAC: Thank you.

SAGAL: Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to play?

ISAAC: Sure, I am.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, HOST:

From his cave, the old turtle's confiding, a rare glimpse of my kind I'm providing. They thought I had gone. My whole species, moved on. But I'm not extinct, I'm just?

ISAAC: Hiding.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Scientists have long thought that the Floreana tortoise of the Galapagos, it's a subspecies of the Galapagos tortoise, was extinct. But new evidence shows it might just be hiding. Apparently what happened was Charles Darwin heard about this, went to look for it, couldn't find it, decided it was extinct and that's what we thought.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If that's what his scientific method consisted of, it kind of makes you doubt the theory of evolution for once, doesn't it?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Did Darwin just determine everything he could not find was extinct?

POUNDSTONE: Oh my god, my daughter's related to him.

SAGAL: Oh really?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Doesn't look for anything.

SAGAL: It's like where are my keys? Can't find them, must be extinct.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yes.

POUNDSTONE: So there are dodos?

SAGAL: Yes, apparently.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They're just hiding.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Here's your next limerick.

KASELL: Our counselor's simply agog. I've been checking your marriage spat log. There's a lot of ruff talk about feedings and walks. The source of your strife is the?

ISAAC: Dog.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A survey from the insurance company E-Sure claims the average family argues three times a week over their dog: who should walk it, who should clean up after it and why it never ever takes out the trash.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Blaming the dog for everything doesn't work, though. It's very unlikely that mysterious pair of underwear you found in the laundry belongs to the dog.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick. You're doing very well.

KASELL: My fridge declares: man, you're a riot. That chicken, I bet you will fry it. Come on and think lean. Eat it baked with some greens. You really should stick to your?

ISAAC: Diet.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Diet. The Think Smart refrigerator, a new gadget, keeps track of your BMI and target weight. It let's you know by telling you. When you're eating outside of your prescribed diet, it might suggest you try carrots instead of the cheesecake or remind you that your skinny jeans are waiting forlorn upstairs. Or in severe cases, it might even say "I can't even tell anymore, which one of us is the fridge."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I'm never going to be pushed around by an appliance.

SAGAL: Really?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: Never say never.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Mae do on our quiz?

KASELL: Mae, you had three correct answers. That means you win our prize. Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, congratulations, Mae.

POUNDSTONE: Mae was good.

SAGAL: Thanks for playing.

ISAAC: Oh thank you so much.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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