Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: An Excuse Not to Buy Flowers, Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together, and An Icelandic Problem.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Or you can click the contact us link on our website, which is waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and you can check out the "How to do everything" podcast. This week, we help the iPhone's voice recognition software understand what Scottish people are saying.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's a problem. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MOLLY YARNOVICH: Hi, Peter. This is Molly Yarnovich from Freemont, California.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in beautiful Freemont?

YARNOVICH: Oh, they're beautiful. It was 73 today.

SAGAL: Oh, stop it. What do you do there?

YARNOVICH: I stay at home with my two year old daughter Sarah.

SAGAL: Oh really? And what does she do all day?

YARNOVICH: We play outside.

SAGAL: Oh, that's fun.

YARNOVICH: It's nice.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Molly. Now, Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to go?

YARNOVICH: Ready.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: Being nice to my wife's self-defeating and the joy of the chores done is fleeting. She thinks it's implied that there's guilt that I hide. When I'm nice she assumes I've been?

YARNOVICH: Cheating.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Do not bother making your wife breakfast in bed or buying her thoughtful little gifts to brighten her day because a new study suggests she will immediately assume that it's because you're cheating on her.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So, word of advice, skip the roses this Valentine's Day. And when your wife asks you why you didn't buy her flowers, you can say because honey, this year, I am not cheating on you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The study, by the way, you'll be thrilled to hear this, was paid for by the Kellogg's cereal company.

TOM BODETT: I mean why Kellogg's? Have they run out of things to spend their money on?

SAGAL: They're researching for their new cereal, it's called Philanderer Flakes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Who from Kellogg's called, Snap, Crackle or Pop?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Molly, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: It's the brick over lager I fear. These microbrews really do veer. Extra onions and cheese? Pepperoni too, please? How did pizza get into my?

YARNOVICH: Beer.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Pizza has but one flaw, it does not make you drunk.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But now there's pizza beer. According to its creators, pizza beer tastes, "the way it would if you eat a chunk of pizza, then take a swig of beer," which frankly, we could have guessed from the name. Inspired by the innovation, the Budweiser company is hard at work trying to make a beer that tastes like beer.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your last limerick.

KASELL: In Iceland some towns hold just dozens. So our website has red flags a buzzing. We have the equations for testing relations to keep you from dating your?

YARNOVICH: Cousin.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Iceland, the island nation of Iceland, it's a small place, just got about 300,000 people. So it often happens you're on a first date, you like somebody's looks and you realize it's because you see those looks every morning in your mirror.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fortunately, there's a new registry website that helps people make sure that they do not end up dating their own cousins. Until now, Icelanders wouldn't discover the truth until they were taken to their own house to meet their new girlfriend's parents.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Molly do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, you cannot do better, Peter. Molly, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done, congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing, Molly.

YARNOVICH: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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