Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: A breath of fresh caffeine; a school kids can't wait to attend; and bedtime stories to avoid.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightening Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago.

And you can check out the latest "How to do everything" podcast from the producers of WAIT WAIT. This week: Ian and Mike cheer up Adele.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MYRON LINDER: Hi.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

LINDER: Myron Linder.

SAGAL: Hey Myron, how are you?

LINDER: Pretty good, pretty good.

SAGAL: Now Myron is a classic name but it's not one I've come across a lot. Are you one of the few Myrons you know?

LINDER: Yeah, I know maybe two others I've met.

SAGAL: It's a good name, Myron.

MO ROCCA: It's a great name.

LINDER: Thank you.

SAGAL: It is. Have you enjoyed being a Myron?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

LINDER: Some days, and other days it's not so hot.

SAGAL: I understand.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Myron, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell, right now, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Fill in the last word or phrase correctly on just two of them. Do that and you'll be a winner. Ready to go?

LINDER: Ready.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: I once got the essence of bean from a drip or expresso machine. But now getting wired is deeply inspired. I'll breathe in a dose of?

LINDER: Caffeine.

SAGAL: Yes, caffeine.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Coffee is a big time waster. Think of all the hours you waste spent drinking and then digesting it, just so your brain can get caffeine. Well, thanks to the AeroShot, a new brand of inhalable caffeine; you get the equivalent of ten cups of coffee in one blast.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In seconds, you go from asleep at your desk to banging your head on your keyboard to make the twitching stop.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Is this even legal in Utah? Sorry.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

PETER GROSZ: I thought there was a name for this. I think I'd heard of it before. It was called cocaine, is that right?

SAGAL: Yeah, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Starbucks is getting in on this. Get ready for the Pumpkin Spice Syringe-accino.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, very good, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: I don't see the point of a grade. So I will not attend, I'm afraid. There won't be much learning unless I am earning. I'll go back to school if I'm?

LINDER: Paid.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Cincinnati's Dohn Community High School has a new way to get students to show up on time. They are paying them. Perfect attendance gets you ten dollars a week, twenty-five dollars if you're a senior. This gets students into important classes like math, where they learn what a bad deal 25 cents an hour is.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Very good, here is your last limerick.

KASELL: Must all magical monsters be hairy? And is there no reliable fairy? Old stories we hear and just cower in fear. Today's tots find Grimm's tales far too?

LINDER: Scary.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to a recent survey, most parents don't read classic tales by the Brother's Grimm or Hans Christian Anderson anymore, for fear of scaring their kids. And it's not just the classics. In the original "Green Eggs and Ham," Sam I Am gets trichinosis.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Pat the Bunny, the original version is Stab the Bunny.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's harrowing, harrowing for children. Don't read it. Carl, how did Myron do?

KASELL: Myron, you had three correct answers, so I'll be doing the message on your voicemail or answering machine.

SAGAL: Well done, Myron. Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

LINDER: Thank you.

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing. Bye-bye.

LINDER: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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