Limericks

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Carl reads three news-related limericks: Shhhh!, Like Amazon For the Heartbroken, oPads.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and you can check out the "How to do Everything" podcast. This week, Mike and Ian present the one and only correct way to eat an Oreo cookie. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

AL URIM: Hi, this is Al Urim, calling from San Francisco, California.

SAGAL: Hey, I was just in San Francisco, beautiful place. What do you do there?

URIM: I'm a software developer for Facebook.

SAGAL: Are you really?

URIM: Yeah.

SAGAL: So you must be worth billions by now.

URIM: I wish.

SAGAL: Is there like some sort of hierarchy at Facebook between the people who got the stock options and the people who didn't?

URIM: I really just don't know. I'm just happy to be working on the website.

LUKE BURBANK: Zuckerberg has got you terrified.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You can't say anything.

BURBANK: I don't know, just it's great. I just love being there.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Al. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks you will be a big winner. Ready to play?

URIM: Sure am.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: The business class flier rejoices. The crew won't be blaring food choices. When roaming the aisles it's silence and smiles. They're learning to lower their?

URIM: Voices.

SAGAL: Right, learning to lower their voices, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: To help its flight attendants create a calmer first class cabin, Virgin has hired professional whisper coach Richard Fitzgerald to train them in whispering. You have to wonder what it was like in first class or upper class, as they call it, to make them want to hire a whisper coach. What were the guys doing? It was like moist towels, get them while they're steamy.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yo, 2B, you want some hot nuts?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They need to bring in the whisper coach and get this straightened out.

ALONZO BODDEN: It's just one more way to make the people in coach feel worse about themselves.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hey, would you like your free meal and a cocktail. You only get that up here.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, very good, Al. Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: When relationships turn into wrecks my feelings for things grow complex. Some shoes have a sting, not to mention the ring. So I'll sell all the gifts from my?

URIM: Ex.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The website Never Liked It Anyway dot com.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is your one stop shop for selling stuff your ex gave you, complete with stories of betrayal and heartbreak. You can buy wedding dresses, wedding rings, and a variety of romantic gifts from people who found out too late that their spouse was a jerk or a cheat or that he bought them a used wedding ring from Never Liked it Anyway dot com.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Al, here is your last limerick.

KASELL: The orangutan dad wonders "why sad? What is wrong with the tire swing I had? We just scratch and eat fruit. There's no need to compute, so what do you want with an?"

URIM: IPad.

SAGAL: Right, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Orangutans at zoos in Milwaukee and Toronto are getting iPads, ostensibly to monitor their ability to interact with shapes and colors and, of course, to make them seem more human. "Look honey, orangutans mate for life and ignore their mate to play with their iPads, just like us."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So far the program has been successful. Orangutans are learning the art of mindless tweeting and they're really excelling at the app Angry Poop.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fling. Carl, how did Al do on our quiz?

KASELL: Al, you were perfect. Three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done, Al. Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.

URIM: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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