Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: Colorado's Hickenbloopers; Women and Men Part MCMLXII ; Santorum's Past Presidents Purity Pledge.

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CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Amy Dickinson, Brian Babylon and Tom Bodett. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

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SAGAL: Thanks everybody. In just a minute, Carl throws his support behind Mitt Rhymney.

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SAGAL: In the Listener Limerick Challenge. I got a thousand dollars for saying that.

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SAGAL: If you'd like to play...

BRIAN BABYLON: Why, because it hurt me?

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SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, Panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Tom, Colorado Governor Jon Hickenlooper has a way with words. He introduced his lieutenant governor to a group of children at an elementary school this week by calling his lieutenant governor a rising star in what field?

TOM BODETT: Prostitution.

SAGAL: Yes, pretty much.

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SAGAL: Actually, what he said was sex, is what he said. Hickenlooper called his lieutenant governor, quote, "a rising sex star."

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SAGAL: We're not sure what he meant. Maybe he wondering whether to go with rock star or sex symbol and he split the difference.

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SAGAL: The governor called this the most embarrassing press conference of his life but it wasn't for long. Because also this week, the governor was introducing the mayor of Denver at an event and he mentioned the mayor's wife was an accomplished singer. And he said, quote, "You know we read about how President Obama sings to Michelle in the shower, so you can just imagine what the mayor gives his wife in the shower."

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SAGAL: He went on, "uh, I mean what she gives him in the shower," unquote.

BODETT: Oh, oh. So I'm imaging - what's his name, Hickenhoopel?

SAGAL: Hickenlooper.

BODETT: Hickenlooper, that's become a verb I'll bet in Colorado.

SAGAL: It really has.

BODETT: You Hickenlooper.

SAGAL: Oh man.

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AMY DICKINSON: That's like you pull a Hickenlooper.

SAGAL: Yeah. People about to give speeches saying "don't Hickenlooper, don't Hickenlooper, don't Hickenlooper." Amy?

DICKINSON: What?

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SAGAL: According to a recent study done at Harvard...

DICKINSON: Oh...

BODETT: So you know it's good.

SAGAL: Women in a relationship married or not, with a man are at their happiest when?

DICKINSON: I know this and it's not 'cause I went to Harvard, it's because I'm a woman. We like it when our guys are unhappy.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

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DICKINSON: I know.

SAGAL: According to the survey...

DICKINSON: Because then we know we've succeeded.

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SAGAL: Apparently. Women, according to the survey, are happiest when their boyfriends or husbands are miserable. That's because researchers found all women are evil.

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SAGAL: In addition...

BABYLON: In addition.

SAGAL: In addition, the idea is your girlfriend or wife, if you're a guy, takes your being upset as proof of you being invested in the relationship. Whereas, if the man is easygoing and cheerful, it means the man is emotionally distant, because if he was really paying attention to the girl, he'd be miserable.

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DICKINSON: Peter, you are so over-thinking this.

BABYLON: No, it's...

DICKINSON: Here's how it goes.

SAGAL: Here's how it goes, explain this.

BABYLON: I want to hear this.

DICKINSON: We like it when men actually admit to us that things - that they're feeling a little down. That way we can empathize and commiserate which is what we like to do. Men like it when women are, like, upbeat and cheerful because that means, to them that they're...

BABYLON: We don't have to talk.

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DICKINSON: Exactly.

SAGAL: Right.

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DICKINSON: Exactly. That's right. There you go.

SAGAL: Although, and this is true, this is another thing, women become happy when the man realizes the woman is miserable, although, the men are miserable because the woman is miserable even though that makes them happy.

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SAGAL: Clear?

BABYLON: I'm never getting married.

DICKINSON: If we feel like it gives...

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DICKINSON: We feel like it gives us a job.

SAGAL: What if the man is unhappy with the woman? Does that count?

DICKINSON: Oh, we don't like that.

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BABYLON: I tuned out. I don't know.

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SAGAL: Tom, one of the themes you hear on the right from time to time is that President Obama is always blaming President Bush for his own troubles. So Rick Santorum, fed up with this, made a unique campaign promise this week. He said if elected he will never, ever under any circumstances mention what?

BODETT: Barack Obama?

SAGAL: Not only Barack Obama.

BODETT: Or President Bush.

SAGAL: Not only. Keep going.

BODETT: They're still not mentioning him. Any other president.

SAGAL: In fact that's what he said. He said he will never mention any former president's name.

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BODETT: Well, if he's going to...

SAGAL: That's what he said.

BODETT: Well, because he's going to be the new caliphate.

SAGAL: Exactly. We don't know what he's going to be.

BABYLON: So the presidents will be like the Voldemort of the...

SAGAL: Yeah.

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BODETT: Right.

DICKINSON: He whose name shall not be...

SAGAL: Over there, that's the memorial that must not be named.

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BABYLON: What does that even mean?

SAGAL: Fed up with what he sees as President Obama's habit of foisting blame on his predecessor, Mr. Santorum said, quote, "I will never mention a former president's name when I'm in office," unquote.

BABYLON: That sounds like a bad breakup, like "don't mention his name."

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SAGAL: How is he going to do this? Is he going to like - once he's in office, is he going to invite friends and big donors to come sleep in the beardy guy bedroom in the White House?

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SAGAL: Oh, yeah, look out the bedroom at the beautiful skinny white guy monument? And Mitt Romney is going to be like, "Are you talking about me?"

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DICKINSON: So, wow, I had not heard that. That's really...

SAGAL: Well, you know, Santorum, he goes all the way. Well not that way but he went all the...

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SAGAL: You know what I mean. He's committed is what I'm saying.

BABYLON: Yeah.

SAGAL: How do you manage not to mention any former president?

BABYLON: Who says things like that?

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BABYLON: It's cuckoo town.

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DICKINSON: Not to mention the name of the city where he'll be living.

SAGAL: Yes.

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BODETT: Here in mmm-mmm-mmm.

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