Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Baby Poop Suits; Fattening ATMS and Fido Lipo.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Or you can click the contact us link on our website: waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows, right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and you can check out the latest "How to do Everything" podcast. This week, Mike and Ian give you the secret to sharing your sleeping bag with 150 rattlesnakes, for those who wish to do that.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We'll tell you how. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

KIM SNIPES: Hi, this is Kim Snipes, calling from Dennison, Texas.

SAGAL: How are things in Dennison, Texas?

SNIPES: Cold, it's winter again.

SAGAL: Oh boy, that was a brief spring. What do you do there?

SNIPES: I'm a biologist at Austin College, down the road in Sherman, Texas.

SAGAL: OK. And what do you study?

SNIPES: Well, with my last name it was kind of inevitable. I study birds.

SAGAL: Your last name is what?

SNIPES: Snipes.

SAGAL: Your last name is snipe?

SNIPES: Yes.

SAGAL: Do Boy Scouts hunt for you?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SNIPES: No, not yet. My grandfather had the best line in that he said his daughter, my mom, was the only person to go on a snipe hunt and actually bag one.

SAGAL: There you go, well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Grandpa. Welcome to the show, Kim. You, of course, are going to play the Listener Limerick Challenge. Carl here will recite three limericks for you. The last word will be up to you. Ready to play?

SNIPES: Yes.

SAGAL: Here we go. Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: When will baby and I have some funsie? Is the pooping and crying all donesie? Your mood I'll compute with this lovely new suit. You are measured and probed by this?

SNIPES: Onesie.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, the onesie.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Parenting just got a little creepier, thanks to the Exmobaby onesie. This suit has built in sensors that send you, the parent, a text message or email telling you why your baby is crying.

AMY DICKINSON: No.

TOM BODETT: Oh lord.

SAGAL: So you're messing around on your iPhone, right, and your baby is messing his diaper, and you get a little note from his onesie, saying, oh, baby has messed his diaper. And then you can immediately send a text to your wife informing her the baby needs changing.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: So hold on, Peter, are you now telling me there's an app for crap?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

DICKINSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: All right, very good, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: For small baked goods there's sneaky uptakes. It's a cash machine? No, it is a fake. I don't care what it's costing, it sells creamy frosting. it's a vending machine for a?

SNIPES: Cupcake.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For those of you who can't make it to the cupcake bank before it closes, you'll be happy to know that now there is such a thing as a cupcake ATM. Sprinkles, in Beverly Hills, was the first bakery to install a cupcake ATM on the wall outside. It'll probably be the last once people learn that they have to pay a $3 ATM fee if it's not their bakery.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: I am sad to see doggy's young grace drift. So he'll get what I think is an ace gift. He will regain his pluck with a nip and a tuck. I am getting my doggy a?

SNIPES: Facelift.

SAGAL: Yes, a facelift.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Have you ever looked at your dog and thought, "Gosh, he's got a huge nose. If only plastic surgery for dogs existed." If so, what the hell is your problem?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But it does exist. According to the ever-reasonable Daily Mail Newspaper in Britain, doggy plastic surgery is on the rise. One British couple reportedly spent nearly $20,000 on a facelift for their bloodhound.

BODETT: No.

DICKINSON: No.

SAGAL: Think about that. That's the breed of dog with the big droopy face, like, hello, how are you.

BABYLON: What did they get tucked?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: That is really sad.

BABYLON: Like now he looks like a what, a collie now?

SAGAL: Maybe they think it's for the dog's benefit. The dog will be more cheerful if it looks a little younger.

BABYLON: He can be at the doggy park. Then when he sniffs a tree, he can do it with confidence.

BODETT: Get that little doggy trout pout thing going.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Kim do?

KASELL: Kim, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you, Kim for playing.

SNIPES: You're very welcome. It was a pleasure.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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