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Opening Panel Round

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: A Two-Ply Problem. (3) Bluff The Listener — Our panelists tell us three stories of St. Patrick's Day traditions being used for good, only one of which is true.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everybody that they can join us most weeks back at our home at the Chase Auditorium in downtown Chicago. For tickets and more information, you can go to wbez.org, or you can find it on our website, which is waitwait.npr.org.

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Charlie, the city of Trenton, New Jersey was gripped by a crisis this week. If it had not been resolved at the last minute, no city buildings would have had any what?

CHARLIE PIERCE: Calamari.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

PIERCE: I don't know. No city - water?

SAGAL: No. Even more important.

PIERCE: Air.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: I'm going to need a hint on this one, Peter, unfortunately.

SAGAL: It would have just been bare cardboard tubes everywhere.

PIERCE: Oh, they ran out of toilet paper.

SAGAL: The City of Trenton ran out of toilet paper, almost.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

PIERCE: What, do they only get like one delivery a month?

SAGAL: Apparently. No, what happened was is that the City Council had repeatedly rejected a contract with Trenton's paper product provider and supplies were running dangerously low in city facilities.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fortunately, the city made an emergency purchase of toilet paper, which is, when you think about, that's probably what the phrase emergency purchase was invented for.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Anyway, everybody in Trenton is happy they won't be moving forward with the backup plan which was to have the city firefighters open up the hydrants to create co-called power bidets.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FAITH SALIE: Oh mercy.

ROY BLOUNT: When you start seeing that tube shining through, you got one layer left, you know.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BLOUNT: And there's nobody - you know, you don't know anybody within miles.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: You may already be a redneck.

SAGAL: On the other hand...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On the other hand, I just thought of a use for those unsold Encyclopedia Britannicas.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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