Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: A Hairy Situation, Come Fly With My Kids and A Bird In Need Of A Birdbath.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Or you can click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and you can check out the latest "How to do Everything" podcast. This week: Mike and Ian tell you how to dye your favorite large body of water green for St. Patty's Day.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

STEVE SHELDON: Hi, Peter, this is Steve Sheldon from Roseburg, Oregon.

SAGAL: Hey, where's Roseburg? I don't know it.

SHELDON: About 70 miles south of Eugene.

SAGAL: OK. And what do you do there?

SHELDON: I'm an elementary school teacher.

SAGAL: That is tough work.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That is tough work.

SHELDON: It's great.

SAGAL: Because it's rewarding?

SHELDON: Yeah, it's a great job.

SAGAL: Fifth grade, actually fifth grade is a good time. That's just before they start to go insane.

SHELDON: It really is.

SAGAL: I know.

SHELDON: As a matter of fact, we're in the middle of a human development unit, so I'm beginning to see the signs of the insanity.

SAGAL: The signs of the madness.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Steve. Now, Carl Kasell is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: In bikinis, I'm posing for just cash. Now the picture's use might make my trust crash. They zoomed on my face, on that lips-to-nose space. The feature they show is my?

SHELDON: Mustache.

SAGAL: Mustache, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So you're an aspiring fashion model. You finally land a big job. You go in for the shoot and six years later you find out that you are the face of the Sally Hansen brand of mustache bleach cream.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

CHARLIE PIERCE: Oh god.

SAGAL: This week, that classic good news/hairy news scenario came true for a model named Maria Asenova. She really should have known something was up at the time of the shoot when the photographer was like great, great honey, give me sexy, come on, give me happy. OK, give me Wilford Brimley, come on.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: Crying babies on planes are uncanny, can't be stowed in an overhead cranny. When everyone's stressed, we'll help fix the mess. We'll hook you folks up with a?

SHELDON: Nanny.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The one exception to the unconditional love that we parents show our children is, of course, when we have to fly with them. That's why there is now a service called Nanny in the Clouds. It's a new company and it's the worst job in the world.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For a plane ticket and just $20 an hour, your nanny will sit with your screaming children on the plane while you sit several rows away, telling everyone around you, "my god, I'm never having kids."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I would do that so quickly, there is no amount of money. Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: On my chick, the hawk swoops like a comet, so some reflux from mom will embalm it. For hawks stay away from bird stomach spray, they won't eat a chick drenched in?

SHELDON: I thought one of the words was vomit. Is vomit the answer?

SAGAL: Vomit is the answer, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Vomit is, as it is so often the answer.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: An amazing discovery this week from the world of ornithology. One little bird, the Eurasian roller vomit bird, has evolved the ability to protect itself from predators by suddenly vomiting upon itself, making itself unappetizing.

It's useful, but still you imagine the bird at the bird convention. The peacocks like, say, "well I've got this fantastic plume of feathers to attract mates." And the mockingbird is like "well, I'm really good at singing." And they look at the little Eurasian roller vomit bird and they say "So, what do you do?"

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Steve do?

KASELL: Steve, you had three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you, Steve. Thanks so much for playing.

SHELDON: You're welcome.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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