Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: Rick Perry Sings the Hits; Who's Playing Hedgefundville?; No Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Burp.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Roy Blount, Jr., and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thanks, Carl.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl loads his Rhymester baskets with limerick eggs.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some questions for you from the week's news.

Adam, a new book from - a new e-book, I should say, from Politico, suggests that during his ill-fated presidential campaign, Texas Governor Rick Perry was taking pain killers for a sore back. It may explain why one rival campaign found the governor doing what one day?

ADAM FELBER: Giggling.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Give me a hint.

SAGAL: Well, some men experience a little stage fright in these situations, so it helps to concentrate on something else to relax.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR.: I don't know.

FELBER: They witnessed him on cell phone while relieving himself.

SAGAL: Close. Did anybody see this?

JR.: No.

SAGAL: No? I'll tell you what - apparently Governor Perry was witnessed singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad" really loudly while using a urinal.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JR.: What was he using the urinal for?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: He was trying to talk into it. "Hello down there."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The book says that because of his bad back, Governor Perry was constantly taking painkillers that might have affected his mental acuity.

FELBER: I was alleging that all summer.

SAGAL: And yet...

FELBER: Spuriously and nobody was listening.

SAGAL: An aide for another campaign was in the men's room in New Hampshire, when Perry walked in, started to use the adjourning urinal, standing, quote, "companionably close," unquote.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And started singing loudly, "I've been working on the railroad." And he did the whole thing. It wasn't like, you know, he started humming. He knew all the lyrics.

JR.: Dina, won't you blow, Dina, won't you blow...

FELBER: Maybe that aide's name was Dina.

SAGAL: Possibly.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh god.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

JR.: Oh shit.

SAGAL: The book's revelation that he was on painkillers the whole time isn't so much a, quote, revelation as it is a, quote, "only possible explanation" for the entire campaign.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Anybody else want flapjacks?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: You're just going to do random Rick Perry things all...

SAGAL: Yeah, I know.

FELBER: Things that Rick Perry might say at a urinal if he was distracted by drugs. Yes, I will spend the whole night doing that if allowed.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How do you make it talk?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Anybody remember that band "Mister Mister"?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: That was two guys, right?

Why do they call it horseradish?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Horseradish is a funny word.

SAGAL: Roxanne, a recent survey of smart phone users found wealthy people download half as many apps as everyone else. Why?

ROBERTS: It's not because they have a life, right?

SAGAL: Yes, that is exactly what it is.

ROBERTS: Because they are too busy?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They have better things to do.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It's been proven that most people use their phones for games and social networking. According to a real thing called the Luxury Institute, though, people who earn over $100,000 a year...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I like that you called it a real thing.

SAGAL: It is.

FELBER: In order to lend some credence to this ridiculous story.

SAGAL: I know. It's the Luxury Institute. We're here for the study of luxury.

JR.: I question the reasoning. I think wealthy people pay other people to download.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They are so wealthy they can pay somebody else to waste their time?

JR.: Exactly.

SAGAL: I understand.

ROBERTS: I don't have that many apps, but it's not because I'm rich, it's just because I'm not very good at this whole thing.

SAGAL: Well, it also is true that the rich people tend to download different apps. So, for example, they'll play games like Words with Trumps.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Draw Something Really Expensive.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Angry Serfs.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Adam, fans of James Bond are up in arms at news that in the new Bond movie "Skyfall," the super spy will, for the first time, be seen on the screen doing what?

FELBER: Drinking a beer.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF BOOING)

SAGAL: According to...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They were mad. According to Advertising Age Magazine, thanks to a big product placement deal, James Bond will be trading his classic shaken not stirred martini for a Heineken in at least one scene in the next move.

FELBER: Oh.

SAGAL: It's true.

JR.: I don't usually drink beer, but when I do...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They'll work it into the plot. You know, Q will help him out. "James, this is a bottle opener with a built in microchip that plays "Rock You Like A Hurricane" whenever you open a brewski.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: 007, with this special hat, you can hold two beers without the use of your hands and still drink them.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

FELBER: Fascinating. We've developed this foam cylinder in which you can put a can.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Do you think there's a black tie version of a beer hat?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: His tuxedo is just printed on a t-shirt now, you know.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We're looking forward to seeing him sidle up to the bar in his tuxedo t-shirt. He's going to order a brew. And then, you know, with that sophisticated James Bond air, he's going to smash the can against his head.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And then somebody will ask him his name and he'll burp it.

FELBER: It's also going to be Jimmy Bond now. Bond, Jimmy Bond.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: What are you looking at?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JR.: I'm not even sure that's my hand.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I love how we're all so offended that the Bond movies might turn techy.

SAGAL: Yeah, what happened to the classy days like Octopussy, you know?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

Copyright © 2012 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!