Lightning Fill In The Blank

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All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Adam Felber and Roxanne Roberts both have three points each. Roy Blount, Jr., has two points.

SAGAL: All right. Well, Roy, you are in third place. You'll be up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

No fatalities were reported after thirteen tornadoes hit on Tuesday in blank.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Texas.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week Kofi Annan told UN Member states that April 12 was the firm deadline for the end of violence in blank.

JR.: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an attempt to turn the company around, search engine blank laid off 2,000 people this week.

JR.: Yahoo.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An Australian pilot was forced to make an emergency landing after discovering that, like Samuel Jackson, he had a blank on his blank.

JR.: Snake on his plane.

SAGAL: He did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Mother of Blue Ivy and wife of Jay-Z, blank launched a new Tumbler blog this week.

JR.: Mother of Blue Ivy, that sounds like an oath, "mother of blue ivy."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ADAM FELBER: Sweet mother of blue ivy.

JR.: Sweet mother of blue ivy. I don't know. I'll bet - I don't know that lady.

SAGAL: It's Beyonce.

JR.: Beyonce.

SAGAL: Do you know who she is?

JR.: I know who she is, yeah.

SAGAL: All right.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the NFL unveiled new blanks for all 32 teams.

JR.: Uniforms.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An 87 year old British grandmother who was charged with screaming obscenities at her neighbor admitted that she was suffering from blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JR.: Suffering from martinis.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, she was suffering, she says, from hydrangea rage. It's the first documented case of Hydrangea rage this year. Margaret Perry discovered her neighbor trimming Ms. Perry's hydrangeas and immediately fell victim to hydrangea rage.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police ordered Perry to attend hydrangea-management classes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JR.: Does Beyonce have a daughter named Hydrangea?

SAGAL: Hydrangea Rage, Blue Ivy's sister, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KASELL: Roy had five correct answers, for ten more points. He now has twelve points and Roy has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Roy.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go last. So Adam, you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Monday, the University of blank won its eighth men's college basketball championship.

FELBER: Kentucky.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: White House spokesman Jay Carney said on Thursday that the president thinks that blank, home of the Masters, should admit women.

FELBER: Augusta.

SAGAL: Yes, Augusta National.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The National Archives website crashed this week after 37 million people logged on to view information from the 1940 blank.

FELBER: Census.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An antivirus company warned about a new form of malware that unlike most kinds infects blank computers.

FELBER: Mac.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Kansas man Bill Isles proved the odds makers right when he bought three Powerball tickets last week and did not win but hours later was blank.

FELBER: Struck by lightning.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Mitt Romney's father George was the subject of a joke on an episode of the TV show blank.

FELBER: CSI Miami.

SAGAL: "Mad Men." The Florida Marlins lost to the St. Louis Cardinals on the opening day of the blank season.

FELBER: Baseball.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A restaurant owner who thought he named his new Thai restaurant "Welcome and see you again" in Thai, was disappointed to realize he actually named it blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

FELBER: Get out.

SAGAL: Yes, I will give it to you. The name of the restaurant in Thai is go away and don't come back.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Fred Bennett wondered why he never saw any Thai customers in his restaurant. But it turns out, when he asked his Thai chef, how do you spell welcome and see you again in Thai, the chef provided him the translation for go away and don't come back.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bennett had a new sign made. This time he asked his new chef how to write the words. And so the restaurant is now called "my god, this guy is easy to fool."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So, Carl, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KASELL: Adam had seven correct answers, for fourteen more points. He now has seventeen points and Adam has taken the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done. All right, how many then does Roxanne need to win?

KASELL: Eight correct answers.

SAGAL: Oh my goodness. Here we go, Roxanne, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. In honor of Easter blank announced he was taking a break from his campaign.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Santorum.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week five former New Orleans police officers were sentenced for shootings that took place in the aftermath of blank.

ROBERTS: Hurricane Katrina.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Ten days after he received a new heart, former Vice President blank was released from the hospital.

ROBERTS: Dick Cheney.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a new deal with NBC that will reportedly earn him 25 million dollars a year, blank will continue to host the Today Show.

ROBERTS: Matt Lauer.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A bank teller in Chicago foiled an attempted robbery by blank.

ROBERTS: By sneezing.

SAGAL: By telling the robber, "bank's closed, come back tomorrow."

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The New York International Auto Show featured the prototype of a car that can blank.

ROBERTS: Fly.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week Google unveiled their new augmented reality blank.

ROBERTS: Oh, those are the glasses.

SAGAL: Those are the glasses.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: Yeah.

SAGAL: The Masters tournament admitted a man this week even though he claimed his tickets were blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROBERTS: Eaten by his dog.

SAGAL: Yes. Russ Berkman's dog Sierra ate all four of his tickets to Wednesday's practice round. But, Berkman was not fazed. He quickly made Sierra barf up the tickets - I don't know how - he then pieced together like a soggy disgusting puzzle, photographed the result and sent it to the Masters organizers who agreed to let him in as long as he wasn't a woman.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You can go watch the tournament if you're a woman.

JR.: And bring your dog. Come on.

SAGAL: All right, Carl, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KASELL: Well, she needed at least seven to tie and she had seven correct answers, Peter. So this week, Roxanne Roberts and Adam Felber are the co-champions.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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