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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Luke Burbank and Paula Poundstone both have three points. P.J. O'Rourke has two.

SAGAL: All right, P.J., you are in last place. That means you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. The doctor in Pakistan who helped the CIA track down blank was sentenced to 33 years in prison on Wednesday.

P.J. O'ROURKE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Tracked down blank.

O'ROURKE: Oh, Osama bin Laden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The same week that world powers met to discuss its nuclear program, blank launched a small satellite into orbit.

O'ROURKE: Iran.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: As part of a multi-year turnaround plan, computer company blank announced it will be laying off 27,000 people.

O'ROURKE: Hewlett Packard.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Couch potatoes mourned this week's death of Eugene Polley, the inventor of the blank.

O'ROURKE: The remote control.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In what police described as "an epic battle" a man and woman in Seattle fought for 30 minutes armed with blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'ROURKE: Remote controls.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Pooper scoopers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They had a dispute.

O'ROURKE: I liked it better my way.

SAGAL: They had a dispute. The guy swung his pooper scooper at the woman in the dog park; she fended him off with her own scooper and then went at it in a duel back and forth.

O'ROURKE: This was Seattle?

SAGAL: Yes.

LUKE BURBANK: The lady should not have said that to me about my dog.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, how did P.J. do on our quiz?

KASELL: P.J. had six correct answers, for twelve more points. He now has fourteen points and P.J. has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, P.J..

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, we have flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go last. So, Luke, you're up next. During the first hearing on the matter, Senators grilled the head of the blank over the prostitution scandal.

BURBANK: Secret Service.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Mitt Romney slammed President Obama's education policy, and said he favors a blank program.

BURBANK: Failed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A voucher program.

O'ROURKE: Not yet. You've got to give him, you know, a chance.

SAGAL: A voucher program. Police charged a man in Dubuque, Iowa with a DUI after they caught him outside a bar with blank.

BURBANK: A zebra and a parrot.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In the front seat of his truck, well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A glut of climbers may have been the cause of the unusual number of fatalities on blank last weekend.

BURBANK: Mount Everest.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: With his win at the Preakness last Sunday, I'll Have Another is one race away from winning the blank.

BURBANK: Triple Crown.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Defense Department revealed this week that the new state of the art detention facility it uses in Afghanistan isn't perfect, because blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BURBANK: They got it from Ikea.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because the cell doors don't lock. The US may never leave Afghanistan, but dangerous prisoners; you are now free to move about the country. According to the Defense Department, the cells at Parwan Detention Facility have locks that are quote "incapable of locking," which according to the way words work, means they are not locks.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BURBANK: I mean, in fairness, have you tried to put together a detention center from Ikea?

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: The directions are in Swedish.

BURBANK: Impossible.

O'ROURKE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Carl, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KASELL: Luke had four correct answers, for eight more points. He now has eleven points, but P.J. still has the lead with fourteen.

SAGAL: All right, so how many then does Paula need to take it away from him and win?

KASELL: Six correct answers.

SAGAL: All right, Paula, you up for it?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I'm really feeling stressed out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Didn't you win the last time you were on the show?

POUNDSTONE: Not only did I win, I won the time before that. And then the last time I won, and I got all my lightning round questions. You ran out of questions and then we waited quietly for the timer.

SAGAL: Wow.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Let's see if you can keep the streak going, Paula. Here we go.

POUNDSTONE: I have a bad feeling.

SAGAL: This is for the game. Fill in the blank. Just days after its IPO, angry shareholders sued social networking site blank for violating securities laws.

POUNDSTONE: Facebook.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Fifteen months after ousting Hosni Mubarak, people in blank lined up to vote in their first free elections.

POUNDSTONE: Egypt.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Arizona's secretary of state said Wednesday that Hawaii's verification of blank's birth certificate meets necessary standards and he will be on the ballot.

POUNDSTONE: Obama.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for hits like "Stayin Alive", Robin Gibb of the group the blank died last Sunday at age 62.

POUNDSTONE: The Bee Gees.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The LBJ School of Public Affairs apologized for a typo on its commencement program that called the school blank.

POUNDSTONE: They put LBJ School of Pubic Affairs.

SAGAL: Yes, they did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Football star Donald Driver was the surprise winner this week on the TV show blank.

POUNDSTONE: In "Dancing with the Stars."

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Wired reported this week that IBM employees are banned from using blank over fears that she would be spying.

POUNDSTONE: Siri.

SAGAL: Siri, yes, that's it. It's Siri.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yeah, can't use Siri.

POUNDSTONE: I thought it was a guy.

SAGAL: No. Police investigating a stolen van in Georgia discovered it was blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: It was full of monkeys.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was not stolen at all. It was just hidden by weeds in the front yard.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It was hidden by weeds. This 1973 Chevy was sitting out there, had been sitting out for a while. The weeds grew around. One day the lady looked out and said "oh, my gosh, my truck's gone." Called the police, they came, some detective work. They found it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The police also told her that her husband, whom she had reported missing some years ago, was disguised as an old man, sitting in her kitchen.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Paula do well enough to win?

KASELL: Paula needed six correct answers to win. She had seven correct answers.

SAGAL: Oh my god. The streak.

(APPLAUSE)

KASELL: So with seventeen points, Paula Poundstone is this week's champion.

SAGAL: It's a streak.

O'ROURKE: Good work.

POUNDSTONE: Thank you very much.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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