Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Opening Panel Round

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: The role John Kerry was born to play.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.


Right now, it's time for you guys to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, John Kerry is back. He's back, baby. He's just been tapped by the Obama administration for a crucial role in the campaign this fall. What is John Kerry going to do?

LUKE BURBANK: Let's see, John Kerry. Is he Commissioner of Wind Surfing?


GROSZ: No, but that famous picture of wind surfing kind of plays into it. They're going to try and see what he looks like sitting in a car with a dog strapped to the roof.

BURBANK: Wait, is he...


BURBANK: No, is he playing Mitt Romney?

GROSZ: He is, that is right.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: That is correct.

BURBANK: Like the scout team Mitt Romney.

GROSZ: That's right.


GROSZ: He is going to be Mitt Romney's - that's right.


GROSZ: John Kerry is going to be Mitt Romney's debate stand-in. So, when preparing for the debates this fall, the president is going to need a sparring partner who is as much like Mitt Romney as possible, and John Kerry is a natural fit.

BABYLON: That's a good call.


BABYLON: That's a great call. That's called great casting.

GROSZ: It is great casting.

BURBANK: He spent his life preparing for this role.

GROSZ: Exactly.


GROSZ: They share a home state. They have similar financial portfolios.

BABYLON: Wow, that's good.

GROSZ: They have held the same positions for brief periods of times on many of the same important major political issues. And perhaps most significantly, they come from the same manufacturer.


GROSZ: So you just pop the back open and you make adjustments to the control panel as you need to, and there you go.

BABYLON: That is brilliant.

GROSZ: Yeah, and they asked Kerry "are you interested in the job?" And he said at first he was against it, but now he's for it.



GROSZ: But he also said he would also be open to being against it in the future. And Obama said "This is perfect."


GROSZ: Exactly what I need.


Copyright © 2012 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.



Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!