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Opening Panel Round

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: The role John Kerry was born to play.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER GROSZ, HOST:

Right now, it's time for you guys to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, John Kerry is back. He's back, baby. He's just been tapped by the Obama administration for a crucial role in the campaign this fall. What is John Kerry going to do?

LUKE BURBANK: Let's see, John Kerry. Is he Commissioner of Wind Surfing?

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: No, but that famous picture of wind surfing kind of plays into it. They're going to try and see what he looks like sitting in a car with a dog strapped to the roof.

BURBANK: Wait, is he...

BRIAN BABYLON: Griswolds?

BURBANK: No, is he playing Mitt Romney?

GROSZ: He is, that is right.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: That is correct.

BURBANK: Like the scout team Mitt Romney.

GROSZ: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

GROSZ: He is going to be Mitt Romney's - that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: John Kerry is going to be Mitt Romney's debate stand-in. So, when preparing for the debates this fall, the president is going to need a sparring partner who is as much like Mitt Romney as possible, and John Kerry is a natural fit.

BABYLON: That's a good call.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: That's a great call. That's called great casting.

GROSZ: It is great casting.

BURBANK: He spent his life preparing for this role.

GROSZ: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: They share a home state. They have similar financial portfolios.

BABYLON: Wow, that's good.

GROSZ: They have held the same positions for brief periods of times on many of the same important major political issues. And perhaps most significantly, they come from the same manufacturer.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: So you just pop the back open and you make adjustments to the control panel as you need to, and there you go.

BABYLON: That is brilliant.

GROSZ: Yeah, and they asked Kerry "are you interested in the job?" And he said at first he was against it, but now he's for it.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

GROSZ: But he also said he would also be open to being against it in the future. And Obama said "This is perfect."

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Exactly what I need.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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