Bluff The Listener
CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing his week with Bobcat Goldthwait, Roxanne Roberts, and Peter Grosz. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Carl. Thanks everybody.
SAGAL: Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!.
PAUL NEEDLES: Hello. My name is Paul Needles. I'm calling from Largo, Florida.
SAGAL: Paul Needles?
NEEDLES: Needles, like needles and pins.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: No, but what's your real name?
SAGAL: You sound like a mobster, Paul.
SAGAL: Oh man, it's Pauley Needles. Don't make him angry.
GOLDTHWAIT: Part of the federal witness relocation thing is you're not supposed to give your real name.
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Paul. It's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Carl, what is Paul's topic?
My Oscar gave me a splinter.
You'd think being a star is simple. Anything dangerous is simply handled by body guards. But celebrities have workplace hazards too. This week our panelists are going to tell you of an entertainer in peril. Guess the true story and you'll win Carl's voice on your home voicemail. Ready to go?
NEEDLES: I am ready.
SAGAL: Let us hear first from Peter Grosz.
PETER GROSZ: When you think James Bond, you probably think cool gadgets, dry martinis and sexy ladies. You probably don't think crippling fear of heights. But for current Bond Daniel Craig, that's the unfortunate reality. On the set of the most recent Bond film "Skyfall," Craig was chasing a bad guy through an amusement park, and the script called for the pursuit to continue onto a roller coaster.
Everything was going fine until at the height the coaster's ascent, Craig suddenly froze then started hyperventilating and crying like a little boy.
GROSZ: His mother, who was visiting the set that day, explained why he was acting shaken, not stirred.
GROSZ: "When Danny was nine, we went to a carnival in Bristol and he got stuck at the top of a roller coaster, for six hours." The film's producers wasted no time and immediately brought a psychiatrist onto the set, who scurried up the coaster and had Craig repeat a calming phrase into a small mirror. "I'm James Bond, the coolest man in the world."
GROSZ: "I'm not little Danny Craig from Cheshire who's afraid of heights. Tell me I'll be OK, Mommy. Tell me I'll be OK." Over and over and over.
GROSZ: Their efforts paid off and within minutes, an embarrassed Craig was back on the ground. And since he has no deep psychological fear of the dark, the next day the scene was re-shot, this time in the tunnel of love.
SAGAL: Daniel Craig, coping with his roller coaster phobia, on the set of a James Bond movie. Your next story of celebrity danger comes from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Pop star Katy Perry is known for her sexy costumes, especially her kitschy brassieres, which - let's just say it - are brawesome.
ROBERTS: There's her bikini top that squirts whipped cream, the two-cupcake bra, and a festive holiday confection with two candy canes strategically hung on her breasts. But now one of her bras has been declared a safety hazard by her insurance company. We're talking, of course, about her spinning peppermint bra with motorized cups.
During a recent live performance, Perry's hair got caught in one of the wheels and began to coil around the machinery. Quote, "by the end of the song," she told the London Sun, "it looked like I was licking my own" slang term for breast, rhymes with twit.
ROBERTS: Insurers were so concerned Perry would injure her neck that her team is designing a new version of the boobalicious peppermint bra. Now it's double the fun.
SAGAL: Katy Perry.
SAGAL: Her health and livelihood threatened by her own motorized brassiere. Your last story of a star in harm's way comes from Bobcat Goldthwait.
GOLDTHWAIT: Can I just say, hey ladies, you don't need to dress them up?
SAGAL: Just a comment to Katy Perry.
GOLDTHWAIT: Just a comment.
SAGAL: All right.
GOLDTHWAIT: We'll look.
GOLDTHWAIT: This is a celebrity hazard at the workplace and the weird thing is that it's involving the Kardashians, who technically don't work.
GOLDTHWAIT: The Kardashians have logged on more time on television than any other family in the history of the medium. And one of the disadvantages of having your every waking moment taped is a skin disorder caused by the video camera lights. All the family members are claiming to have suffered from symptoms similar to the rickets.
GOLDTHWAIT: Treatment for the malady is to expose your epidermis to actual sun. The Kardashians ask that the media respect their privacy during this troubling period.
SAGAL: All right then.
SAGAL: So here are your choices. From Peter Grosz: Daniel Craig, the star of the James Bond movies, running into roller coaster phobia on the top of a roller coaster, as he shoots his latest. From Roxanne Roberts: Katy Perry getting almost injured by one of her own motorized bras. And from Bobcat: of course, the Kardashians experiencing a skin disease that comes from having every minute of every waking day videotaped under a light.
Which of these is the real story of a celebrity working place peril?
NEEDLES: Well, I can't imagine Daniel Craig screaming at the top of his lungs, or saying "I'm not afraid of heights, Mommy." Well, do I get a hint?
SAGAL: Technically, no.
ROBERTS: But the fact he asked is...
SAGAL: Yeah. To quote the late Nora Ephron, "I don't know how I could say no to you, but I will."
NEEDLES: Oh boy. OK, I'm going to say number two, because it's so outrageous.
SAGAL: You're going to go with Roxanne's story of Katy Perry's motorized bra. All right, well, to bring you the real answer, well, listen to this.
REPORTER: Katy explained the occurrence herself. "My hair got caught in the wheels of my spinning peppermint bra and began to coil around and around."
SAGAL: That was a report by "Clever Music."
SAGAL: That's what it's called: "Clever Music."
NEEDLES: That is so bizarre.
SAGAL: It is bizarre, but it was true. And you have won our game, because in fact, Roxanne was telling the truth. Congratulations, Roxanne gets a point and you win our prize.
SAGAL: Well done. Thank you so much for playing.
NEEDLES: It was very good fun. Thank you.
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