Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: Firewalk with Me, Lingonberry and Hops, The Spymaster Wants a Thighmaster, and Exposure Excuses.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Kyrie O'Connor, and Simon Amstell. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl jets off to London to compete in the rhymathalon in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some questions for you about the week's news.

Kyrie, last week, at a motivational event hosted by Tony Robbins - you know, the "Unleash the Power Within" guy - many attendees were surprised that their feet got burned during what activity?

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Walking across fiery coals.

SAGAL: Indeed, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: What a surprise for everyone. Tony Robbins, the motivational guy, believe that the power of your mind can do anything.

According to one woman, who successfully completed the fire walk, quote, "He tells us to say, 'Cool moss, cool moss, cool moss,' and not look down and it's amazing what your mind can do when you get it in the right state." But while you're saying cool moss, cool moss, the coals are like "Fresh feet. Fresh feet. Fresh feet."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Actually, it's very motivational for the coals. They get a lot out of it. Do you know about these things? I'm going to check in with you as our British expert. Do you know...

SIMON AMSTELL: Hello?

SAGAL: Hello? Do you know who Tony Robbins is?

AMSTELL: I've heard of him.

SAGAL: And what do you know of him?

AMSTELL: He burnt people.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Mo, Ikea is best known for its inexpensive furniture, for Swedish meatballs, Lingonberries, too. But starting in August, Ikea is expanding their offerings to include what?

MO ROCCA: A house that you can put together.

SAGAL: Well, they're practically giving you that already, but no.

ROCCA: OK. It is a...

SAGAL: Actually, it's something that you can wash down the Lingonberries with.

ROCCA: Oh, is it going to be a bar, is it going to be liquor.

SAGAL: Yeah, it's going to be beer.

ROCCA: Beer.

SAGAL: Beer, Ikea beer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: That's very good. The store is launching two beers in August. On is called Öl Ljus Lager.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The other one is Öl Mörk Lager, or in the U.S. it'll be "that cheap Ikea beer" and "Oh, my God, I'm too drunk to remember another damned made up Swedish name."

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Ikea furniture looks like Pottery Barn when you have beer goggles on.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Kyrie, ever since he started as CIA chief, General David Petraeus has been on a quest to get a crucial new facility built at headquarters, essential to their mission. What does he say the CIA desperately needs?

O'CONNOR: Does it have anything to do with bodily functions?

SAGAL: Sort of. It has to do with the body, certainly. Getting a good one.

O'CONNOR: A good one. Workout facility isn't funny, so it can't be that.

SAGAL: Why can't it be?

O'CONNOR: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He's trying to get a new gym for the CIA and he has failed, like everybody else has.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The CIA, of course, has satellites that can kill enemies of the U.S. by exploding their fillings with lasers, but apparently their gym sucks.

AMSTELL: Isn't there a local gym that they could just go to?

SAGAL: Well, they could. They could go down to Bally's, I guess, but they want one in their facility.

AMSTELL: A little walk would be better.

SAGAL: You think?

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Yes, that's right.

SAGAL: They should, because they're getting teased for being fat. It's like oh, man, your CIA agent is so fat I thought he was a double agent.

(LAUGHTER)

O'CONNOR: Oh.

SAGAL: Simon, Florida representative Peter Nehr, he is the latest politician to get caught sending topless photos of himself on the internet. This has happened from time to time. But Mr. Nehr, unlike others, came up with a really good excuse, though. What is it?

AMSTELL: I don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

AMSTELL: What did he do to...

SAGAL: Why did he do it?

AMSTELL: Why did he do it?

SAGAL: Why did he do it, Simon?

AMSTELL: Why did he send the photos?

SAGAL: Why did he send the photos?

AMSTELL: Well, people get a bit horny don't they?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They do, but that's not what he said.

AMSTELL: He said.

SAGAL: That.

AMSTELL: He was concerned about a rash and he was sending it to a friend who was in some way medical who could possibly help with the rash.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's not a bad excuse but that's not what he said.

AMSTELL: He said I am a human being.

(LAUGHTER)

AMSTELL: And just because I hold an office it does not mean that I don't have sexual organs.

(LAUGHTER)

AMSTELL: It doesn't mean I don't have needs.

ROCCA: I'm voting for him.

SAGAL: Oh my god.

AMSTELL: He said give me a break people, do I not bleed?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: That was beautiful.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: No. We're going to get there. He was very proud, actually, of his diet program.

AMSTELL: Right.

SAGAL: So?

(LAUGHTER)

AMSTELL: Different. Different.

SAGAL: What was he trying to do?

AMSTELL: Encourage people to diet.

SAGAL: Yes, he was trying to inspire people to look as good as he does.

AMSTELL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Mr. Nehr's he's a diabetic, and he explained, quote, "I use every opportunity I can to show other diabetics that it is possible to control and even possibly reverse the effects of the disease." And he said that he wanted to show how well in shape he got to other diabetics so that they can improve as well. Sensing an opportunity to get his life back, somewhere Anthony Weiner released a statement saying his underpants also have diabetes.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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