Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: The Two Week Fatathalon; A Mothra Sighting; The Dictionary Drops a Bomb.

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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Faith Salie, Paula Poundstone and Luke Burbank. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, legendary anchorman Bill Kurtis - that's a trademark - legendary anchorman Bill Kurtis stoops to a new low and reads some silly poems in the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Paula, many of us spent the last two weeks glued to our TV sets watching the Olympics and it shows. Because according to experts in Britain, the average viewer did what over the course of the two weeks?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Gained weight.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: While Olympic athletes were wowing us with their prowess in what Brits called the Olympic Fortnight, we were sitting on the couch winning gold medals in the Taco Bell Crunchwrap Fortnight.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Overall the average viewer, according to the study, gained 4.2 pounds over the course of the Olympics.

POUNDSTONE: Whoa.

SAGAL: Whereas the average viewer in London, where the games took place, gained a 5.2 pounds, because being closer to people exerting themselves makes you hungrier, by osmosis.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or maybe the marathon runners tossed them doughnuts as they ran by. We don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know what this is? This is what happens when you use the Olympics as a chance to play eating games. Every time Michael Phelps wins a medal, you eat. Every time Bela Karoyli's mustache appears on screen, you eat. But what killed us all was the rule: Whenever NBC shows beach volleyball, you have to unhinge your jaw.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: It was some of - the interviewers.

SAGAL: Yes.

POUNDSTONE: I'm pretty sure that Michael Phelps did poorly in that first race so that he would not have to talk to that blonde woman by the pool.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: She's awful. She's terrible. And by the way, they just finished doing their thing, you know....

SAGAL: Racing or leaping or whatever.

POUNDSTONE: Right. So their hearts are pounding and they're being asked stupid junk. Like "what were you thinking?"

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: You know, and the...

(SOUNDBITE OF HEAVY BREATHING)

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I was thinking "kick".

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

LUKE BURBANK: You know, you have a limited understanding of the hurdles.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Luke, not that anyone should be worried, but scientists in Japan are reporting that the meltdown at the nuclear power plant in Fukushima has had an unexpected side effect. What?

BURBANK: It's not worrisome, though, it's just unexpected?

SAGAL: Yeah, it's a little strange but they say there's no real danger from them.

BURBANK: Butterflies.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: I knew it.

SAGAL: What kind of butterflies?

BURBANK: Awesome butterflies.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Are they glowing or something?

SAGAL: Yes.

BURBANK: Are they luminescent?

SAGAL: They're mutant butterflies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Is that thunder? Why is the house shaking?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, it's just the enormous mutant butterfly. According to scientists in Japan, butterflies exposed to radiation have been sporting a variety of new mutations. Their offspring are even weirder. But no fear, the butterflies pose no threat to humans. It's the mutant caterpillars that are the problem.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Just, you know, imagine the kid's book, "The Very, Very Hungry Mutant Caterpillar."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Monday he ate through an apple, but he was still hungry. On Tuesday he ate through a human being.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But he was still hungry. Run.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paula, Merriam-Webster added new words to the dictionary this week including this one which you can officially drop. What?

POUNDSTONE: The F-bomb.

SAGAL: Yes, the F-bomb.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The phrase F-Bomb is now part of the dictionary, with new words like earworm, man cave, mash-up, life coach, sexting, brain cramp, and bucket list.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's the question, why are these words in the dictionary? Who hears the word F-bomb and says, hmm, what's that mean?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Let me consult Merriam-Webster. Oh, I see.

POUNDSTONE: Some people need to know how to spell it.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Now, these words have become common enough to be recognized by Merriam Webster, but they still may be a bit unfamiliar to some people out there. So we thought we'd have Bill Kurtis right here read a few sentences that incorporate the new words to help those people out.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis.

KURTIS: I had an aha moment when I realized I could do my sexting from my man cave.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: I'm going to drop an F-bomb on the next person to say "that's on my bucket list."

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Don't listen to that new Black Sabbath / Rebecca Black mashup - it gave my life coach an earworm that was a real game changer.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis, ladies and gentleman.

FAITH SALIE: Nice.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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