Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Opening Panel Round

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: Holy Matrimony.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everyone they can join us most weeks back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Illinois. For tickets and more information, go to wbez.org, or you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Mo, according to scholars of the ancient Middle East, a fragment of a manuscript suggests that Jesus was what?

MO ROCCA: Married.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The tiny fragment is a fraction of the length of a Dan Brown novel, yet far more enjoyable.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It includes the quote "Jesus said to them my wife." And then it trails off, it breaks off. Scholars are amazed; this is the first indication that Jesus was a standup comic.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: That's it? That's all it says is my wife?

SAGAL: That's all it says, "Jesus said my wife." Now, there is no real indication that Jesus was actually married because we don't know what the rest of the text was. Maybe it goes on to say "Jesus said to them my wife doesn't exist. What's wrong with you people?"

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Now, maybe he was saying - I don't know - my wife beater is a bit too casual for this occasion, and I should wear a long sleeve shirt.

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR: Yeah, maybe a robe or something.

SAGAL: Yeah. Some scholars, though, think it's possible that Jesus might have been married. He was a nice Jewish boy. He would have gotten pressure from his mother.

(LAUGHTER)

JR: He got out of the house an awful lot though.

SAGAL: He did, yeah. What would his home life would have been like if he were married? "Jesus, sometimes you act like you walk on water."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But there'd be advantages to having Jesus as a husband. It'd be like "Jesus, does this dress make my butt look big?" Poof. "Not anymore."

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Geez, wow, I wonder how his wife got along with her father-in-law.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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