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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Charlie Pierce has the lead, Peter. He has four points. Faith Salie and Luke Burbank are tied for second; they both have two points.

SAGAL: All right. Well, we have flipped a coin and Luke has elected to go first. So, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

In a sting operation Wednesday, the FBI arrested a man accused of plotting to blow up the blank in New York.

LUKE BURBANK: Federal Reserve.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The CDC announced this week that over 200 people in 14 states have been diagnosed with blank linked to a tainted medication.

BURBANK: Meningitis.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The U. N. Special Envoy traveled to blank to try to negotiate a cease-fire over the Muslim holiday.

BURBANK: Syria.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Joe Biden was among the hundreds of mourners who attended the funeral for Pennsylvania Senator blank, who died last Sunday at age 82.

BURBANK: Arlen Specter.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Even though the transcript says differently, Brown University insists the Dalia Lama said blank during a recent speech and not a four-letter word.

BURBANK: Binders of women.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They say that what the Dalia Lama really said was "forget," not what the transcript initially reported him as saying.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Be the swearing you want to be.

SAGAL: Exactly. Organizers of the 2013 Super Bowl announced this week that blank would be performing at the half time show.

BURBANK: Beyonce.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has banned TV commercials for Arm and Hammer Advanced Whitening toothpaste after it was shown the toothpaste blanks.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BURBANK: Makes your teeth look better.

SAGAL: No. They banned the ads after it was shown the toothpaste makes your teeth look darker. Clinical trials show that some people had whiter teeth, sure, but for almost half the users, their teeth stayed the same or got darker. Users only have themselves to blame - the label clearly states that the active ingredients in the toothpaste are black tar and coal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KASELL: Luke had five correct answers for ten more points. He now has 12 points and Luke has taken the lead.

SAGAL: Well done, Luke.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Faith, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Police in the Netherlands are investigating the theft of seven blanks from the Kunsthal Museum in Rotterdam.

FAITH SALIE: Pieces of art.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In response to rumors about his health, Cuba's government run newspaper ran a letter signed by blank.

SALIE: Fidel Castro.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Supreme Court in Ohio ruled this week that early blanking would be allowed to continue the weekend before the election.

SALIE: Voting.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Akron City Hall was evacuated after authorities found a metal rod with the word "kaboom" on it, but it turned out it was just blank.

SALIE: It turned out it was just a joke.

SAGAL: No, it turned out it was a walking stick belonging to a man with the last name Kaboom.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the publishers of the magazine blank announced that they are discontinuing the print edition at the end of the year.

SALIE: Newsweek.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Nobel Prize Committee continued to draw criticism this week for their decision to award the peace prize to blank.

SALIE: The European Union.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The people at Sesame Street have issued a court order to stop a company from selling blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SALIE: Sunny Days.

SAGAL: No. To stop a company from selling Sexy Big Bird costumes as well as Sexy Oscar, Sexy Burt, Sexy Ernie, Sexy Elmo and Sexy Cookie Monster costumes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're basically lingerie that look like the Muppets if you squint your eyes just the right way and drink a fifth of tequila first.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KASELL: Faith had five correct answers for ten more points. She is now tied with Luke for the lead.

SAGAL: All right then.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many then does Charlie need to win?

KASELL: Five correct answers.

SAGAL: All right, here we go, Charlie, this is for the game. This week, both Secretary of State Clinton and President Obama took responsibility for the security problems in blank.

CHARLIE PIERCE: Benghazi, Libya.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Pretrial hearings began at Guantanamo Bay this week for the men accused in the attacks on blank.

PIERCE: 9/11, the World Trade Center.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes. Restaurants, businesses and beverage groups filed a lawsuit this week to try to stop New York's ban on blank.

PIERCE: Big old sodas.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A man in Perth, Australia is attempting to shame Print Hall bar after he claims he was kicked out because of his blank.

PIERCE: The alligator he was wearing on his head.

SAGAL: No, close. He says he was kicked out because of his mullet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After a slow drive across Los Angeles, the blank finally reached the California Science Center last Sunday afternoon.

PIERCE: The space shuttle.

SAGAL: Yes, the Space Shuttle Endeavor.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were announced as the co-hosts of the blank ceremony in January.

PIERCE: The Oscars.

SAGAL: No, the Golden Globes. In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, the English village of Wiltshire is blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: Painting itself pink.

SAGAL: No, close. It's turning a thousand foot high conical hill into a giant boob.

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: Oh yeah, Boob Hill, sure.

SAGAL: Boob Hill. Seattle has its space needle, Wiltshire, England will have the space nipple.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Using thousands of pink lights, an artist will install a giant glowing nipple atop the existing, already-boob-shaped hill in Wiltshire. Even though the plan has just been announced, Wiltshire city officials have already noted a slight increase in breast cancer awareness and a huge increase in infantile jokes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Charlie do well enough to win?

KASELL: He needed five correct answers to win outright, but Charlie had four correct answers, giving him eight more points. So he has 12 points, as does Faith Salie and Luke Burbank.

SALIE: What?

KASELL: They all are tri-champions.

SAGAL: Whoa, amazing.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: What a wonderful symbol of unity.

SALIE: Yeah.

BURBANK: Or a race to the bottom.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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