Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

More questions for the panel: The check is in the apocalypse, Fact checking with Cokie.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Paula Poundstone and Firoozeh Dumas. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, get ready for a spooky listener limerick challenge. Carl is still wearing his Franken-stryhme costume.

I know, fine, it's Franken-stryhme's monster. Fine, I understand.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Firoozeh, a Russian man refused to pay a $32 traffic ticket this week, and he made a good case. He said he didn't need to pay the ticket. Why?

FIROOZEH DUMAS: Because he had no American money.

SAGAL: No. That was a translation.

DUMAS: Oh, this is in Russia?

SAGAL: It's in Russia.

DUMAS: So he got a ticket in Russia.

SAGAL: Ten thousand rubles.

DUMAS: And he refused to pay because...

SAGAL: Yes.

DUMAS: He said it wasn't his car; he'd stolen it.

SAGAL: No, no, no, just check the Mayan calendar.

DUMAS: Oh, because the world's going to end, so why should he pay?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Exactly right. The world's going to end at the end of 2012, so why pay the fine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The world will end on December 21st, 2012, according to the calendar of poet Maya Angelou.

(LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: This has been a real...

SAGAL: That is what they mean, right? And so, for this Russian guy, that means why pay the traffic ticket? What are they going to do to him? You know, this excuse is going to show up more and more. "I can eat whatever I want; the apocalypse won't care about the size of my thighs."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: "The apocalypse is coming; I don't need to prepare for this first debate."

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Are you going to plan for the apocalypse?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I can't wait, honestly.

SAGAL: Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: I am so tired.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: There really is a sort of change in the season of your life when you realize that you'd be sort of OK with it. And when I think about the world ending on December 21st, I think: that gets me out of a couple of jams.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: You know, OK with that.

SAGAL: Luke, this week NPR was forced to deny a story about MORNING EDITION Contributor Cokie Roberts. Despite numerous reports to the contrary, NPR is sticking to the story that Cokie Roberts does not what?

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Visit Snooki's porch.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. Visit some other place almost as embarrassing. The only hint I can give you is name an annoying casual restaurant chain.

BURBANK: I can name a few.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: How about I run down the list and when I hit the one...

SAGAL: Please.

BURBANK: ...you guys ding the bell.

SAGAL: Here we go. Go.

BURBANK: Applebee's.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You got it first off.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The rumor was - let me explain what happened. Some time on Friday last week, a Twitter feed for Cokie Roberts popped up on Twitter, and the Emmy-award winning broadcaster had one thing on her mind: finding an Applebee's. Followers of the feed noted that she also seemed to think Twitter worked like Google. So she was entering things like Applebee's, Washington, D.C., D.C., Applebee's, directions.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Then tweets like "homemade Applebee's" and "Applebee's dessert shooter recipe."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So NPR denied that the Twitter account belonged to Cokie Roberts but we want to double check. Joining us now from what we are sure is an appropriate, upscale, independent, dining establishment, please welcome Ms. Cokie Robert. Cokie, hello.

(APPLAUSE)

COKIE ROBERTS: Well it's definitely independent; it's my kitchen.

BURBANK: I am so glad I didn't go with Hooters now that I know Cokie's on the line.

POUNDSTONE: I was thinking Hooters too.

BURBANK: I was going to make all kinds of jokes...

ROBERTS: Trust me, I have never visited Snooki's porch.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: And right now it's probably under water, poor Snooki.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: So Applebee's, I actually barely had heard of Applebee's, much less been to Applebee's. I have six grandchildren. I've been to really disgusting places.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Applebee's just didn't happen to be on their list.

SAGAL: I understand.

ROBERTS: I actually did have to sit down before you called me to think about tweets, because...

SAGAL: Tweets.

ROBERTS: ...I have never twittered.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You are not a twitterer.

POUNDSTONE: It's only a matter of time, Cokie.

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROBERTS: No, no, no, it's actually not, Paula, because...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: No, you know what?

ROBERTS: No, no, I love you dearly...

POUNDSTONE: I very much enjoy twitter. I tweet - I will be tweeting about this conversation.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I bet you money, and you can pick the number, but I would want to be in the neighborhood of $10.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: That you will eventually join in, in the big public swimming hole of Twitter. I really believe that.

ROBERTS: Only if my grandchildren want to communicate with me that way.

SAGAL: I understand.

ROBERTS: Because, basically, I'm communicating with everybody else I want to communicate with already.

POUNDSTONE: You have not called me.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Huh?

SAGAL: So, there you go. Ladies and gentlemen, Cokie Roberts.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Thanks, Cokie.

SAGAL: Thank you so much, Cokie, for setting the record straight about you and Twitter.

POUNDSTONE: She is so the person who tweeted the Applebee's thing.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!