Panel Highlights With Simon Amstell

  • Playlist
  • Download
  • Embed
    <iframe src="" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

We listen back to some highlights of Simon Amstell's time on the Wait, Wait panel.

CARL KASELL: Now, you may have heard an unfamiliar voice on that show. That was Simon Amstell, a British comic who made a guest appearance on our show.


Now Simon's appearance generated a lot of mail from you, our listeners, 90 percent of it positive and 10 percent of it from people saying Roy's southern accent sounded different.


KASELL: Whatever your reaction, Simon was certainly memorable. Here he is downplaying his national pride.

SIMON AMSTELL: How dare you.


AMSTELL: It's me.

SAGAL: Really?

AMSTELL: No, I felt like I should say, "how dare you." I don't care where I'm from.


AMSTELL: I don't really care. It's just where you're born, isn't it. It's borders, they're nonsense.

SAGAL: Really?

AMSTELL: Right, people? There you go. Some of them are with me.


KYRIE O'CONNOR: Yeah, those are the Canadians.

SAGAL: So you don't feel any particular pride in being British?

AMSTELL: I think it's stupid.

SAGAL: You do?


AMSTELL: To be proud of where you come from, it's just where you came out of your mother's - can I say...





SAGAL: Generally speaking, if you're going to ask me whether you can say something, wait for the answer before you go ahead.


AMSTELL: Right. Okay.

SAGAL: I appreciate you taking the step though.

AMSTELL: Can you bleep me, so I know...

SAGAL: We will see what we can do.

AMSTELL: Okay, great.

SAGAL: But really, no national...

AMSTELL: But it's just where you fall out. To be "oh, I'm so proud to be British or I'm proud to be American." You might as well be proud to be cesarean.



SAGAL: Next, during a conversation about Kate Middleton and her sister Pippa, Simon proved that not all Brits care about the royal family.

MO ROCCA: Is Pippa Middleton going to be forced to play volleyball?

SAGAL: That would be awesome.

AMSTELL: Which one? Is she the sister or the main one?

ROCCA: Oh my gosh.


SAGAL: Wait a minute.

ROCCA: Off with his head.

SAGAL: You don't know?

ROCCA: You don't know?

AMSTELL: I've got my own life going on.


O'CONNOR: I think that's - isn't that like treason or something?

AMSTELL: I'm just not interested.

SAGAL: Aren't you obligated by law to be interested?

AMSTELL: Well that's what they make you feel while you're there.


AMSTELL: Yeah. But I just always feel like it's an odd thing that there is a royal family. it's like, nobody goes, this is peculiar. They're like, oh, you should get excited about the wedding. What are you going to wear for the wedding? They aren't invited to the wedding.


AMSTELL: Once you say that these people are above you, you're just sort of a low self-esteem peasant.

O'CONNOR: I think Simon is putting a scam over on us. I think he's really from New Zealand.

SAGAL: Apparently.


SAGAL: I just find it hilarious that, you know, you came over here and then you're going to go back to Britain and you're going to be like, "did you guys know there's somebody named Pippa?"


SAGAL: She's apparently attractive.

AMSTELL: One of them got a lot of interest because her bottom was interesting to people.

ROCCA: That's Pippa.

AMSTELL: That's Pippa.

SAGAL: That's Pippa, yes.




Copyright © 2012 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio.



Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

NPR thanks our sponsors

Become an NPR sponsor

Support comes from