Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Copyright © 2012 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

It is time to go on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Maz Jobrani has the lead, Peter. He has four points. Paula Poundstone and Adam Felber are tied for second, each has two.

SAGAL: All right. We have flipped a coin. Adam has elected to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, President Obama and other NATO leaders warned blank not to use chemical weapons.

ADAM FELBER: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Saying he's going to become the president of the Heritage Foundation, on Thursday, South Carolina Senator blank announced his resignation.

FELBER: Jim DeMint.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Hours after Guatemalan officials rejected his request for asylum, virus protection software pioneer blank was hospitalized.

FELBER: McAfee.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Legendary jazz performer and composer blank died Wednesday at age 91.

FELBER: Dave Brubeck.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A California couple who needed home repairs is in trouble for allegedly blanking.

FELBER: Repairing it themselves.

SAGAL: No, kidnapping a handyman and making him fix their dishwasher.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Good strategy.

SAGAL: In the first six hours after same sex marriage became legal, 279 couples received marriage licenses this week in blank.

FELBER: Washington.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Led Zeppelin, Dustin Hoffman, and David Letterman were among the recipients of the blanks this year in Washington.

FELBER: Carl Kasell's Kennedy Center Honors.

SAGAL: Indeed, Carl was the emcee.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A team of workmen in France hired to renovate a historic 18th century chateau accidentally blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

FELBER: Knocked the whole thing down.

SAGAL: Yes, they did.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

MAZ JOBRANI: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The team of Polish workers was hired to renovate the chateau and demolish a few small outhouses. Instead, they demolished the chateau and kept the outhouses, finally answering the question: how many Polish workers does it take to destroy a historic chateau?

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: You know, every time anybody of Polish origin makes a mistake, they must be like "I know where this is going."

SAGAL: Oh yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Adam do on the quiz? I think he did quite well.

KASELL: He did, Peter, seven correct answers, 14 more points.

SAGAL: Wow.

KASELL: He now has 16 points and Adam has the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh my.

SAGAL: Paula?

POUNDSTONE: It's a situation, that's what it is.

SAGAL: I'm no math genius, but I think in order to tie him you're going to have to get seven right as well.

POUNDSTONE: Oh my heavens. Do you mind if I just take a minute to stretch, Peter?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: All right, I won't. OK.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fill in the blank, Paula. Here we go. After it was stormed by thousands of protestors on Thursday, the army sealed off the presidential palace in blank.

POUNDSTONE: Egypt.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a ceremony at the Ellipse on Thursday, President Obama and his family lit the National blank.

POUNDSTONE: Christmas tree.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Mitt Romney announced this week that he would be rejoining the board of directors of the blank hotel chain.

POUNDSTONE: I didn't even know he was on the board of the directors of the blank hotel chain.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: La Quinta.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: It's not La Quinta?

SAGAL: No, it's Marriott.

Sportscaster Bob Costas drew criticism for seeming to advocate blank during his halftime commentary on Sunday Night Football.

POUNDSTONE: Gun control.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Singer Frank Ocean and the pop band Fun were among the nominees named for this year's blank awards.

POUNDSTONE: Ocean and the poppa band Fund?

SAGAL: Pop band Fun.

POUNDSTONE: Poppa band Fun.

SAGAL: Pop band. Blank awards, Paula, blank award.

POUNDSTONE: Honey Boo Boo.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The Grammy Awards.

POUNDSTONE: Oh yeah. Yeah, that was the other one.

SAGAL: A German man who was pulled over for drunk driving was arrested when he blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I know when he tried to use the breathalyzer to call his lawyer.

SAGAL: That's exactly what he did. Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Police handed the breathalyzer to Bernhard Becker so he could blow into it for a breath test, but instead he thought it was an iPhone and started trying to make a call on it.

JOBRANI: Hilarious.

SAGAL: Said police, "you know, we didn't really need the reading."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Paula do?

KASELL: Paula had four correct answers for eight more points. She now has ten points, but Adam still has the lead with 16.

SAGAL: All right, so then how many does Maz need to win?

KASELL: Six to tie, seven to win outright.

SAGAL: All right, here we go, Maz, this is for the game. This week the CDC warned that this year's blank season may be particularly bad.

JOBRANI: Flu.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of their concerns over expanded settlement building, the U.K. announced it was considering recalling its ambassador to blank.

JOBRANI: Israel.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A robbery in a Las Vegas restaurant took a bizarre turn when the robber accidentally blanked.

JOBRANI: When the robber accidentally shot somebody.

SAGAL: No. What he did was he deep fried his gun.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Apple CEO Tim Cook announced Thursday that starting next year, Apple will begin building some computers in blank.

JOBRANI: U.S.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner announced this week that he is once again blanking playmate Crystal Harris.

JOBRANI: Oh yes, he is.

(LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Marrying.

SAGAL: Yes, marrying.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Proving that voters love a businessman, the new County Commissioner in Nevada won his race by touting his experience managing blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: The county commissioner of Nevada managing - the county commissioner of Nevada managing a casino.

SAGAL: No, managing a brothel.

JOBRANI: Oh, I was about to say that.

SAGAL: Yet, you didn't.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Lance Gilman is the owner and operator of the Mustang Ranch brothel in Storey County, Nevada, and now he's one of the county commissioners in Storey County. The first pimp to be elected to office in our country, but only if you mean the term literally.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It's going to be awkward when he shows up at the City Hall and all the politicians are like "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Maz do well enough to win?

KASELL: Maz had four correct answers for eight more points. He now has 12. But with 16 points, Adam Felber is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Adam.

FELBER: Thank you.

SAGAL: In front of the hometown crowd.

FELBER: Yeah.

SAGAL: Great to see it.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

Copyright © 2012 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!