PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now, panel, what will be the next big confession in the news? Peter Grosz?
PETER GROSZ: Oprah will admit that 15 years ago she and Lance Armstrong conspired for him to engage in doping, deny it for years, win seven Tours de France, get publicly humiliated, seek redemption on her show and save her lame spin-off network from total irrelevancy.
SAGAL: What a scandal. Roxanne Roberts?
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Jodie Foster will show up at the Academy Awards to confess that she, even she didn't understand her Golden Globes speech, but yeah, she's gay.
SAGAL: And Mo Rocca?
MO ROCCA: After not coming clean with Oprah, Lance Armstrong will finally confess that the person who actually injected him with steroids was his best friend, a giant white rabbit.
CARL KASELL: Well, if we hear any of those confessions, panel, we'll ask you about it on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!
SAGAL: Thank you, Carl Kasell. Thanks also to Peter Grosz, Roxanne Roberts and Mo Rocca. Thanks to all of you for listening. I am Peter Sagal, and we will see you next week.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: This is NPR.
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