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Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: The Sexy Library; Life Lessons from Snoop; Babies Never Smelled So Sweet.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and check out the latest How to do Everything podcast. This week: Mike and Ian offer some baseball advice from a Supreme Court justice. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME.

TIM ROWAN: Hey, this is Tim from Brooklyn, New York.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Brooklyn?

ROWAN: It's a little cold and windy today.

SAGAL: Oh really, yeah, well it's like that there in Brooklyn. What do you do there?

ROWAN: I work for a TV network actually.

SAGAL: You work for a TV network.

ROWAN: I don't know the rules about this but I work for Showtime.

SAGAL: Oh, you do?

ROWAN: Yes, sir.

SAGAL: Do you get to see all the shows for free?

ROWAN: Unfortunately, I pay for cable.

SAGAL: No, really?

ROWAN: Yes.

SAGAL: That's no fun.

ROWAN: Yep.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to our show, Tim. You are going to play the game...

ROWAN: Glad to be here.

SAGAL: ...in which Carl will read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to play?

ROWAN: All set.

SAGAL: Here we go, here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: This librarian has a new role. The stacks I no longer patrol. The patrons all flip as they check out my strip. I'm dancing and working the?

SAGAL: Strip, dancing.

FAITH SALIE: Think Nickelback music.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Rhymes with roll, patrol. How about...

CHARLIE PIERCE: Yeah, if you worked for Cinemax, you'd get this.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

ROWAN: No idea.

SAGAL: It's pole. Pole. Mayfield Public Library in Scotland is hoping to attract new membership and interest in the library by offering a free pole dancing class this weekend, during an event called "Love Your Library Day."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Also known as the only way we could get men who aren't homeless into the library day.

(LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: You're laughing, man. Pole workouts get you nice and muscular up top. I mean, even if you're a guy.

PIERCE: If you pay an extra $50 does the librarian take you into like nonfiction privately or what?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here we go. You still have two more chances. Let's see if we can get it. Here's your next limerick.

KASELL: Snoop Lion's not hanging with thugs. He mentors young kids who need hugs. He's sewing some seeds with his knowledge of weed. He's teaching those kids about?

ROWAN: Grub.

SAGAL: Grub?

ROWAN: Shrub.

SAGAL: Not shrubs.

PIERCE: Shrubs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Although that would be nice of Snoop.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: To teach them about shrubbery. By the way, Snoop Lion used to be known as Snoop Dogg, Snoop Dogg, remember. All right, let's hear it one more time.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Well, you know, in my community they call shrubs...

SAGAL: Yeah, I understand.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here we go. One more time, you'll get it.

KASELL: Snoop Lion's not hanging with thugs. He mentors young kids who need hugs. He's sewing some seeds with his knowledge of weed. He's teaching those kids about?

ROWAN: Bugs.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

PIERCE: He's just trying to get Carl to talk about this more, that's all.

SAGAL: Well, you got the rhyme right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But no, it's not bugs.

PIERCE: And it's still not shrubs.

SAGAL: Yeah.

Sewing some seeds. Knowledge of weed.

BABYLON: I mean it's Snoop Dogg.

PIERCE: Snoop Dogg.

BABYLON: I mean, come on.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Any thoughts on this?

SALIE: Just say no.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. What do you think?

ROWAN: Oh, this is on me?

SAGAL: Yeah, it's on you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Tim, it's all on you. We're waiting. One more stab at it. What do you think?

ROWAN: I'm out of guesses on this one.

SAGAL: How about drugs, Tim? How about drugs?

PIERCE: No, thanks, he's already done some.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The artist formerly known as Snoop Dogg, now known as Snoop Lion, is penning a children's book called "It's Just a Plant: A Children's Story of Marijuana."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Before you jump to the conclusion that Snoop is condoning pot use among kids, let me assure you that is exactly what he is doing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The plot of the book, and this is true, is about a little girl who learns about the wonders of Mary Jane, and instead of ending happily every after, the book segues into the very, very hungry caterpillar.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, one more limerick for you. Here we go.

KASELL: I can't handle a world full of maybes. Rabid dogs need to smell just like rabies. And something's good, pump it up, if you would. I want infants to smell more like?

ROWAN: Babies.

SAGAL: Yes, babies.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Nailed that one. Dolce and Gabbana has introduced its first ever perfume for babies. The scent is inspired by quote, "the softness of baby skin, the freshness of baby's breath." That's right; you're buying perfume for your baby so he can smell the way he's supposed to by being a baby.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Tim do?

KASELL: Well, he needed two correct answers to win, but he had just one correct answer.

SAGAL: Aw, Tim.

SALIE: It was fun though.

SAGAL: It was fun to have you.

BABYLON: He brought it on his self.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was great to talk to you, Tim.

ROWAN: Thank you guys.

SAGAL: Thanks for playing.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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