Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: A Doodle for Your Poodle; U.S. American Airwaylines; Royale With Fancy Cheese.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

You can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows, right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, and our upcoming show in Rockford, Illinois on April 4th. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

JEFF SCURRY: Hi, this is Jeff Scurry from Washington, D.C.

SAGAL: Hey Jeff, how are you?

SCURRY: I'm great.

SAGAL: I'm glad to hear it. What do you do in Washington?

SCURRY: I am getting over moving here from Chicago, Illinois.

SAGAL: Oh really? We felt the city was less interesting. We realize it was you leaving.

SCURRY: Yes, that was it.

SAGAL: Yeah. So what do you miss most about Chicago?

SCURRY: Probably a building over 12 stories.

SAGAL: Yes, I know. Everything is short and inadequate there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Why did you move to D.C.?

SCURRY: You know, it was calling my name.

SAGAL: Jeff, it said. Well, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. Your job, of course, complete the limerick two times out of three. Do that you'll win Carl's voice. Ready to go?

SCURRY: Ready to go.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: He's my pet; please don't be so agog. It's ironic, the symbol means frog. And see, we're in sync, I've got matching ink. I've put a tattoo on my?

SCURRY: Wow.

SAGAL: Yeah.

SCURRY: Dog.

SAGAL: Yes, there you go, Jeff.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Dog owners have come up with yet another way to humiliate their beloved pets. This time it's in the form of temporary tattoos. Pet owners in England are getting paw prints, hearts and initials buzzed into their pets' fur, because nothing says cool like a Lady and the Tramp Stamp.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Besides, when it comes down to it, it's not the worst body modification a dog has to go through.

(SOUNDBITE OF BOOING)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: US Air should display "We don't care" signs, as American pays broken chair fines. Instead, we might surge as the two of us merge. Yes, we are uniting our?

SCURRY: Airlines.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This week, American Airlines and US Airways announced that they would be joining their weaknesses together.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Despite many requests, the airline is not calling itself US Americans.

(LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: Which one is it going to be more of? It's going to be called American right?

SAGAL: I think so.

BURBANK: US Air is essentially going away.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: American is slightly less horrible than US Air, in my experience.

SAGAL: Every single airline I know has been called by somebody who flies them, the worst airline in the world. Nobody loves their airline.

BRIAN BABYLON: People with private jets...

SAGAL: They like them.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: They love their situation.

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: At McDonald's, we seek to appease, using Camemberts, Roqueforts and Bries. If you don't mind the smell, they taste rather well. Our burgers with quaint local?

SCURRY: Cheese.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In an attempt to class things up, and appeal to French citizens, McDonald's in France is launching the Camembert Burger. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's a McDonald's hamburger topped with a big hunk of Camembert cheese. It's perfect. Camembert makes the burger seem high class and French while the M-C, the Mc, automatically undermines everything I just said.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Put some money inside.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: You know what I'm saying? Put some cash in that hamburger. That's class.

SAGAL: OK. Carl, how did Jeff do on our quiz?

KASELL: Jeff had three correct answers. And Peter, that's good enough to win our prize.

SAGAL: That's very good. Congratulations, Jeff, well done.

SCURRY: Thank you very much.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bye-bye, Jeff and thanks for playing.

SCURRY: Thank you.

SAGAL: We miss you back in Chicago.

SCURRY: I'll be back soon.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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