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Limericks

Bill Kurtis reads three news-related limericks: The Worst A Man Can Get, Mama's Boys, and The Ice-Cold Truth About Doping.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and our upcoming show, up the road in Rockford, Illinois, at the Coronado Theater on April 4th. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MICHELE MILES: Hello.

SAGAL: Hello, who's this?

MILES: This is Michele Miles in Butte, Montana.

SAGAL: Butte, Montana.

MO ROCCA: Do these jeans make my Butte look big?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Michele.

MILES: Well thank you very much.

SAGAL: Well, Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell, is going to read you - perform for you, I would say, three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks then you will be a winner. Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: We Brazilians find manscaping scary. Of razor blades, we are quite wary. And please keep your wax off our chests and our backs. Don't pick at us, 'cause we are?

MILES: Hairy.

SAGAL: Hairy, yes.

KURTIS: Hairy, it is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Hairy Brazilians say Gillette's new ad with beautiful women encouraging men to shave their chests is insensitive and prejudiced against the hairy. It's true; you never stop to think how those razor ads feel to the follicularly endowed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is smooth really better than bushy? Don't you need something to catch the soup that falls out of your mouth?

(LAUGHTER)

ALONZO BODDEN: Do they really think that a woman who's had a Brazilian wax is going to feel sorry for them on the chest hair issue?

SAGAL: That's probably true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: It's not just the endless loud noise and the bruises from stepping on toys. Kids sap all her forces and use her resources. Mom's life is cut short by her?

MILES: Boys.

SAGAL: Right, very good.

KURTIS: Yes. Michele, great.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to a recent study published in the journal Biology Letters, having sons can shorten a mother's life. This is because in infancy sons are bigger and heavier than daughters and therefore draining a mother's resources. So if you want to live a long and stress-free life, try having a daughter and then have that daughter skip ages 12 to 19.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Here is your last limerick.

Spend all day in a hut on ice, moping. For those endless hours, some need help coping. So it might be best to enforce routines tests. Let's make sure our ice fishers aren't?

MILES: Doping.

SAGAL: Yes, doping, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: As soon as the World Ice Fishing championship wrapped up in Wisconsin, the winners were confronted by a U.S. Anti-Doping Agency official who ordered them to submit to urine samples.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fortunately, it wasn't difficult. They're ice fishermen; they drink beer all day. They were testing for human growth hormones and steroids, both of which promote muscle growth in athletes. In addition to the urine sample, the USADA official was able to clear the competitors by doing a newer test called just looking at them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Michele do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She swept it, three and oh, every one right.

SAGAL: Very well done, Michele.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations. Thank you so much for playing.

MILES: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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