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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: It's even score; each has three points.

SAGAL: All right, well we have randomly assigned an order then. Paula is up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Venezuelan citizens on Tuesday mourned the death of their president of 14 years, blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Chavez.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Former Italian Prime Minister blank was sentenced to a year in jail in a wiretap case on Thursday.

POUNDSTONE: Berlusconi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In response to a petition, this week the White House called on Congress to allow people to unlock their blanks.

POUNDSTONE: Phones.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of the horsemeat scandal, officials in Iceland tested local meat pies and were surprised to discover blank.

POUNDSTONE: They were made of horse meat.

SAGAL: No, they didn't have any meat in them at all.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: George Lucas announced that Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford and Marc Hamill would all be appearing in the new blank movie.

POUNDSTONE: "Star Wars."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the social networking site blank unveiled changes to its news feed.

POUNDSTONE: Social networking site.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Facebook.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Bradford, England were surprised when a suspected burglar was delivered to the station by blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: In a baby stroller.

SAGAL: No, by Batman.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yes.

SAGAL: They were also surprised to see that Batman seems to have gone a little soft in the middle. Security cameras captured the superhero, dressed in the 1960s TV version of his costume, bring in a wanted criminal and vanishing into the night.

The mysterious vigilante revealed himself to the media as one Stam Worby, a Chinese take out deliveryman, and he wanted everybody to know who he was, because he resented the implications that he was fat. He wanted to let us know he was wearing a tracksuit under the costume.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Paula got five right, for ten more points. That means she has 13 and the lead.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: You know what they say.

SAGAL: What do they say?

POUNDSTONE: WAIT WAIT statisticians say if you don't come out in the lead when you go first...

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR: It's hard to catch up.

POUNDSTONE: You don't have a shot in hell.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, Roy, you are up next. Fill in the blank. President Obama hosted a dinner at the Jefferson Hotel for twelve blanks on Wednesday night.

JR: Republicans.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After being hospitalized over the weekend for a stomach infection, on Tuesday blank was released in good health.

JR: Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: As U.S. jobless claimed dropped, this week the blank reached an all time high.

JR: The Dow.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: U.S. intelligence officials announced Thursday that they had caught the son-in-law and spokesman for the late al Qaeda leader blank.

JR: Osama bin Laden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A highway in West Virginia was temporarily shut down after thousands of blanks spilled onto the road.

JR: Lego blocks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because he's planning to direct a movie, this week Jon Stewart announced that he was taking a 12-week hiatus from blank.

JR: "The Daily Show."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Golfer Rory McIlroy apologized this week for blanking during the second round of last week's PGA Honda Classic.

JR: Walking off.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to Psychology Today magazine, the most popular place for single people to fall in love at first sight is where?

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JR: Oh, my gosh. Is this Newark airport?

SAGAL: Oh, lord no.

(LAUGHTER)

JR: That was the most likely airport though. Yeah, I read that today. Go ahead.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was Walmart.

POUNDSTONE: Eww.

SAGAL: What they did was they surveyed...

(LAUGHTER)

JR: The second thing...

SAGAL: They surveyed those Craigslist missed encounter ads where people say I saw you there and I just was really struck by you; will you call me. And most of them took place in Walmart.

FIROOZEH DUMAS: I think it was in the pregnancy belly aisle.

SAGAL: It was.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Of course, the majority of these relationships are between single men and giant tubs of discount cheese puffs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roy do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he did great. He got seven more points, 14. He takes the lead.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, there you have it.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many...

KURTIS: Firoozeh needs seven to tie.

DUMAS: That's a lot of pressure.

KURTIS: Eight to win.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Here we go, Firoozeh, this is for the game. In a medical first, doctors announced this week that a baby born infected with blank had been cured.

DUMAS: AIDS.

SAGAL: Right, HIV.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an interview with Chris Wallace of Fox News last Sunday, blank said that it kills him that he's not president.

DUMAS: Oh, Romney.

SAGAL: Right, Mitt Romney.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The CDC sent out a warning to hospitals this week about a new strain of nightmare bacteria that is resistant to blank.

DUMAS: To medicine.

SAGAL: Yeah, antibiotics.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in Zurich, Switzerland arrested a 27-year-old outside of a music festival after he was caught with blank.

DUMAS: Chocolate.

SAGAL: Forty-nine cell phones stuffed down his pants.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, singer blank lashed out at Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for joking about her at the Golden Globes.

DUMAS: Taylor Swift.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week Subaru recalled 50,000 nicknamed Zombie cars because they could blank.

DUMAS: Drive on their own.

SAGAL: Right, or start themselves, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A German politician's claim that Silvio Berlusconi and other Italian politicians were clowns drew stiff condemnation from blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

DUMAS: Italy.

SAGAL: No, actual clowns.

POUNDSTONE: The clowns.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Being compared to Berlusconi and his cohort is an insult to the dignity of a profession founded on tripping over your own enormous shoes. Clowns around the world were deeply offended and angry, and so they erased their usual smiley faces and put on their frowny lips.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Firoozeh do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She did pretty well. She got five right, but with 17 points, the winner is Roy Blount, Jr.

POUNDSTONE: All right, Roy.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Roy.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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