Panel Round One
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
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SAGAL: Panel, it is of course time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Faith, Abu Hamza al Mazri is a convicted terrorist. He's held in a New York prison. And when he went to that jail, authorities took away the hook he had been using for a hand since an injury many years ago. Well, his lawyers are now asking that that hook be replaced with what?
FAITH SALIE: I'm trying to think of anything that has to do with Peter Pan.
SALIE: An alligator with a ticking clock inside it. No.
SALIE: I need a hint.
SAGAL: OK, well, they can't give him a spoon and a fork, so they want to give him?
SALIE: Oh, like a ladle.
SAGAL: I'm going to open it up. I think Faith is just too classy to know about these.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Is it a spork?
SAGAL: It's a spork.
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SAGAL: They're going to give him a spork for a hand.
SALIE: Oh, that's so great.
SAGAL: Yes. The spork, of course, a combination of a spoon and a fork. It's perfect...
SALIE: It's like the El Camino of utensils.
SAGAL: It is.
SAGAL: It's the perfect thing if you need to eat some soup and shiv a cellmate. You know, it's got both things.
SAGAL: He's got trouble eating without his hook, so they're thinking about screwing a spork onto his stump, which will make life easier for him, especially if he's moved to a maximum security Kentucky Fried Chicken.
SALIE: You know what, if - I mean, is there anything more American than a spork? If that doesn't turn this man pro-American...
SAGAL: Finally, he'll understand the beauty of our country.
SAGAL: It will also make him the least threatening pirate ever.
SAGAL: 'Tis I, Captain Spork.
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