Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round One

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news... A Handy Upgrade.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

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(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Panel, it is of course time for you to answer some questions about the week's news. Faith, Abu Hamza al Mazri is a convicted terrorist. He's held in a New York prison. And when he went to that jail, authorities took away the hook he had been using for a hand since an injury many years ago. Well, his lawyers are now asking that that hook be replaced with what?

FAITH SALIE: I'm trying to think of anything that has to do with Peter Pan.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: An alligator with a ticking clock inside it. No.

SAGAL: No.

SALIE: I need a hint.

SAGAL: OK, well, they can't give him a spoon and a fork, so they want to give him?

SALIE: Oh, like a ladle.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I'm going to open it up. I think Faith is just too classy to know about these.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Is it a spork?

SAGAL: It's a spork.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SALIE: Oh.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: They're going to give him a spork for a hand.

SALIE: Oh, that's so great.

SAGAL: Yes. The spork, of course, a combination of a spoon and a fork. It's perfect...

SALIE: It's like the El Camino of utensils.

SAGAL: It is.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's the perfect thing if you need to eat some soup and shiv a cellmate. You know, it's got both things.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He's got trouble eating without his hook, so they're thinking about screwing a spork onto his stump, which will make life easier for him, especially if he's moved to a maximum security Kentucky Fried Chicken.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: You know what, if - I mean, is there anything more American than a spork? If that doesn't turn this man pro-American...

SAGAL: Finally, he'll understand the beauty of our country.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It will also make him the least threatening pirate ever.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: 'Tis I, Captain Spork.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!