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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

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TOM BODETT, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he, or in Kyrie's case, she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: P. J. O'Rourke has three points. He leads. Kyrie O'Connor and Adam Felber, they both have two points each and they are tied for second.

BODETT: OK, we've flipped a coin and Adam has elected to go first. Adam, on Wednesday, Julia Pierson was sworn in as the first female director of the blank.

ADAM FELBER: Secret Service.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: In a historic meeting this week, Pope Francis traveled to Castle Gandolfo to meet with blank.

FELBER: Pope Benedict.

BODETT: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: On Thursday, the city of New York appealed a ruling that overturned the ban on blanks over 16 ounces.

FELBER: Soda.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: The teen girl from Pakistan who was targeted by the blank announced plans this week to publish a book.

FELBER: Taliban.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: An Illinois man was arrested by New Jersey police this week after they found blank in his truck.

FELBER: Wisconsin cheese.

BODETT: Right, 42,000 pounds of stolen Muenster cheese.

FELBER: Yeah, cheese, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: With his win at the Arnold Palmer Invitational, blank regained his number one ranking this week.

FELBER: Tiger Woods.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: The AP reported this week that after five decades on the air, television journalist and host of "The View" blank will retire in 2014.

FELBER: Barbara Walters.

BODETT: Yep.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: This week, wealthy people in Russia were caught avoiding traffic jams by blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

FELBER: Calling ambulances.

BODETT: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: Taking an ambulance.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Canada's National Post has the story of people in Moscow paying $200 each to hire ambulance taxis. To put an end to it, police have begun randomly stopping and searching ambulances. That'll stop those crooks, and anyone in desperate need of medical attention.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Carl, how did Adam do?

KASELL: Adam had eight correct answers for 16 more points. He now has 18 points and a commanding lead.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Very good. Kyrie, you're up next. Fill in the blank. After being shut for almost two weeks, banks in blank opened on Thursday.

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Cyprus.

BODETT: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: In a speech at an ROTC dinner Tuesday night, blank apologized for the affair that led to his resignation.

O'CONNOR: David Petraeus.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: An inquest was held in the death of Boris Berezovsky, the Russian Tycoon known for his falling out with blank.

O'CONNOR: Vladimir Putin.

BODETT: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: This week Boeing successfully tested the new battery system on its blank planes.

O'CONNOR: Dreamliner.

BODETT: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: Officials compiling a list of new Swedish words have backed down after getting a trademark infringement complaint over the word blank.

O'CONNOR: Oh, fart.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: No, I don't think that's been patented. It's un-Google able, or in Swedish, O-Google-bar.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Because of a back injury, figure skater Dorothy Hamill was the first to leave the TV show blank.

O'CONNOR: "Dancing with the Stars."

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: After he was indicted for fraud, groundhog blank's handler took responsibility for the failed weather forecast.

O'CONNOR: Punxsutawney Phil.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: After a student was injured, a school district in the U.K. is finally looking for safer blanks.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'CONNOR: Safer - student was injured. Oh, food, the triangular food they can't eat anymore.

BODETT: Yes, we'll give it to you, granola bars.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: When a student threw his triangle granola bar at another student...

P. J. O'ROURKE: Oh my god.

BODETT: ...and hit him in the face, school officials immediately banned the triangle shaped granola bars because they are just too dangerous, saying only square granola bars would be allowed from now on. Critics quickly noted that square granola bars actually have more pointy parts than triangles.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: One more, actually technically speaking.

BODETT: The safest bar of all, though, is the O-Google-bar.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: Carl, how did Kyrie do?

KASELL: Kyrie had seven correct answers for 14 more points. She now has 16 points, but Adam still has the lead with 18.

BODETT: All right. And now how many...

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Now how many does P. J. need to win?

KASELL: He needs eight correct answers.

BODETT: OK, P. J., this is for the game. Fill in the blank. The New Jersey man who won the $338 million blank jackpot celebrated by putting his bodega up for sale.

O'ROURKE: Blank - lottery.

BODETT: Right. Well, the Powerball.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: On Tuesday, Italy's highest court overturned the acquittal of American student blank and ordered a new trial.

O'ROURKE: Amanda Knox, is that right?

BODETT: That's right.

O'ROURKE: OK.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: Ashley Judd announced Wednesday that she would not be running for the U.S. Senate in blank.

O'ROURKE: Kentucky isn't it?

BODETT: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODETT: On Wednesday night, the Chicago Bulls beat the blank ending their 27 game winning streak.

O'ROURKE: Miami Heat. Miami Heat.

BODETT: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

O'ROURKE: I may have been vegetating in front of the television all week, but not without purpose.

BODETT: A British couple is threatening to sue after they were simultaneously injured while trying to avoid blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'ROURKE: That new condom that...

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: That might do it. But no, it was to avoid dog poop on the sidewalk. Michael and Anna Webster of - I'm not making this up - Spilsby were innocently walking along a footpath when disaster struck.

As Michael said, quote "My wife pointed towards some you know what on the footpath, I turned to look where she was pointing, missed the step, tripped and fell on her and she broke her arm. I fractured my wrist and landed on my ribs. It was very unfortunate that I landed on my wife."

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: The poop in question has apologized.

Carl, did P. J. do well enough to win?

KASELL: P. J. had four correct answers for eight more points. He now has 11 points, but with 18 points, Adam Felber is this week's champion.

BODETT: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Congratulations.

FELBER: Thank you very much.

O'ROURKE: Kyrie, well played.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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