Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Limericks

Carl reads three news-related limericks: A Misleading Shade, Skinny Genes, and Saving Inches At 30,000 Feet.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

Or you can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending or weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show at Tanglewood in Lenox, Massachusetts, you know it, on August 29th. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

JACK TRNAVSKY: Hello, this is Jack Trnavsky.

SAGAL: Hey, Jack. Where are you calling from?

TRNAVSKY: Gaffney, South Carolina.

SAGAL: Now, Gaffney, I don't know. Where is it?

TRNAVSKY: It's in the upstate.

SAGAL: I got to ask you, Mr. Mark Sanford, your former governor, is running for congress.

TRNAVSKY: Yes.

SAGAL: He's doing this after, of course, he left office under somewhat of a cloud.

TRNAVSKY: Right.

SAGAL: Do you think that South Carolinians are forgiving enough to give him another chance?

TRNAVSKY: I do not.

SAGAL: Really?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You think. OK, well, we'll take that as a prediction. Well, welcome to the show, Jack. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks. Of course, he's going to stop right before he gets to the end because it's your job to fill in that last word or phrase. Do that two times out of three and you will be a winner. Ready to play?

TRNAVSKY: I am.

SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.

CARL KASELL: Though the jelly's the least healthy bean, I return to the candy machine. My sweet tooth's enabled by FDA labels. I think go 'cause the color is?

TRNAVSKY: Green.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to a recent study in the journal Health Communications, people are more likely to eat candy bars if they come printed with a green label. People just assume if something is covered in green, it must be good for you. So from now on, a moldy stick of butter counts as health food.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here is your next limerick.

KASELL: My dad and his dad before him never ran, nor have gone for a swim. It is deep in my genes to avoid weight machines. DNA says I won't hit the?

TRNAVSKY: Gym.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study from the Journal of Convenient Excuses for Slobs claims...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...that we are genetically predisposed to either hate or love exercise. As much as 50 percent of our reluctance to exercise is genetic, scientists say, but that doesn't account for the other 50 percent, which is controlled by the part of our brain called the lazybellum.

(LAUGHTER)

PETER GROSZ: I'm so happy that just came out.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GROSZ: Is there another gene that tricks you into joining a gym every two years?

SAGAL: Yeah, exactly. Thinking oh, yeah, man, it's going to be great.

GROSZ: Exactly. I'm going to do it this time. I'm really going to do it.

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: Airplane bathrooms are big, don't you think? Well, for one, no one uses the sink. And when folks top excreting we'll have extra seating. We're agreed then, the bathrooms must?

TRNAVSKY: Stink.

SAGAL: Yes, they will, no doubt but that's not the right answer. Listen to the first line. Airplane bathrooms are big, don't you think. So therefore, the bathrooms must?

TRNAVSKY: No clue.

SAGAL: How about shrink?

TRNAVSKY: Shrink, OK.

SAGAL: Shrink. Giving new meaning to the term "water closet," airlines are adding more room to the cabin by shrinking the size of the bathrooms.

TRNAVSKY: Oh, goodness.

SAGAL: You didn't think that was possible did you?

TRNAVSKY: I did not.

SAGAL: Apparently, not enough people are getting stuck inside and the flight attendants have nothing else to entertain them. Delta will reportedly be the first airline to install the new bathrooms, of course, which will shrink from the standard three foot by three-foot size to a catheter they hand you when you board.

(LAUGHTER)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: What is it that they're going to give up?

SAGAL: What do you mean?

ROBERTS: I mean it's just...

SAGAL: Yeah, I mean you're thinking like how could they possibly shrink it.

ROBERTS: They're still going to have a sink.

GROSZ: You know what's going to happen, Roxanne? Ladies are going to have to stand.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Get used to it.

BRIAN BABYLON: Live our life.

GROSZ: You'll have to learn how to live the shame that men live where we have to stand like an animal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Jack do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well, Jack, you're a winner. You had two correct answers, so I'll be doing the message on your home answering machine.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

TRNAVSKY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Jack, and thanks for playing.

TRNAVSKY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

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