Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Who's Carl This Time?

Carl Kasell reads three quotes from the week's news: A Prime Departure, His Front Is Back, Venti Decaf Accident

Copyright © 2013 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. And here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. We have a great show for you today. We got food writer Mark Bittman coming on later to play our game. But first, big news this week about Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell's office being bugged. Maybe you heard the tape of his staff making fun of potential Democratic challenger Ashley Judd. Well, yeah, of course this paled in comparison to the other bugging scandal this week, the NPR bugging scandal. For the first time, on this show today, we're ready to release tapes of the wiretap we placed on Terry Gross' phone.

(SOUNDBITE OF PHONE CALL)

TERRY GROSS, BYLINE: See, here is the thing about Sagal. Carl Kasell has been carrying that guy for years. Sagal wouldn't know a limerick if it walked right up and bit him in the (bleep). Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!, more like Wait, Wait...Don't Turn on the Radio when that (bleep) is on. Anyway, good talking to ya, Ira.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, if you've got anything you'd like to say for everyone to hear, give us a call. The number of course, 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-928-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

JEN VOS: Hi, this is Jen from Grand Rapids, Michigan.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Grand Rapids?

VOS: Cold and rainy, but otherwise, fabulous.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, I bet. What do you do there?

VOS: I'm a temp at the Gerald Ford Presidential Museum.

SAGAL: The Gerald Ford Presidential Museum.

VOS: Indeed.

SAGAL: I bet a lot of people did not realize there was one.

(LAUGHTER)

VOS: Yes, there is, there's two.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There are two presidential libraries for Gerald Ford?

VOS: Well, there's a library in Ann Arbor and then the museum in Grand Rapids.

SAGAL: Right. And what sort of things do they have there at the Gerald Ford Museum?

VOS: Well, they have Nixon's resignation letter.

SAGAL: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Shouldn't that be in the Nixon Museum?

(LAUGHTER)

VOS: Yeah, I don't know.

SAGAL: Well, Jen, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, it's a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning, Ms. Faith Salie is here.

(APPLAUSE)

FAITH SALIE: Hi, Jen.

SAGAL: Next, is the comedian and host of the Who's Paying Attention podcast, Mr. Alonzo Bodden is here.

(APPLAUSE)

ALONZO BODDEN: Hello.

SAGAL: Finally, it's the host of the podcast that is taking over the gnome world, Too Beautiful to Live, it's Luke Burbank.

LUKE BURBANK: Hiya, Jen.

VOS: Hi.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Jen, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Carl This Time. Carl Kasell, of course, is going to recreate for your three quotations from the week's news. You know the drill, explain or identify two of them. Do that, you'll win his voice and it will go wherever you want. Ready to play?

(LAUGHTER)

VOS: I am.

SAGAL: Here's your first quote.

KASELL: If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.

SAGAL: That was a woman who lived out that credo. She did a lot before she died this week at the age of 87. Who was it?

VOS: Margaret Thatcher.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed, Margaret Thatcher. Baroness Thatcher.

(APPLAUSE)

SALIE: Can I just say that Carl sounded exactly like Meryl Streep there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He did. A lot of people found out about Ms. Thatcher's passing on social media, the hashtag #nowthatchersdead began trending. And people got really upset when they saw it, because it was all squeezed together like a hashtag. It could also be read as "now that Cher's dead."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So a lot of people were upset about Margaret Thatcher passing, a lot of other people getting upset about Cher's passing, which wasn't true.

BODDEN: How did Cher feel about it?

SAGAL: Cher was, I think, moderately perturbed, but flattered that people cared.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And the thing about it - the two groups joined together because they had so much in common. Both women had opinions about gypsies, tramps, and thieves.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And, of course, both had very short-lived marriages with Gregg Allman (unintelligible).

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: A lot of that gets left out of Margaret Thatcher's history, her time with Gregg Allman.

SAGAL: It's true, it's true. Well, a lot of people - I mean, it's interesting, she was quite revered in America because she was such a, you know, pioneering figure. But in Britain she had a tremendous amount of split opinion about her. In fact...

SALIE: And still is, right?

SAGAL: Yeah, still is. And as a matter of fact, a lot of the people, the punk rockers who were protesting her back in the '80s when she was in power came out to, you know, show their anger now that she's died. So, they were having celebrations all over London. It's kind of hard to still be a punk this many years later.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I mean, Mohawks aren't as intimidating when it's just your comb-over died purple.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Your next quote is from a man named Jason Weiner, he was speaking to his brother.

KASELL: Dude, you'd be a great mayor or something.

SAGAL: This week, Jason Weiner's brother said he's considering a return to politics. Who is he?

VOS: I don't know.

SAGAL: Well, his last name is Weiner.

VOS: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

VOS: Oh. That - was it the governor?

SAGAL: It wasn't just his name, it was the cause of his fall from grace.

(LAUGHTER)

VOS: Yeah, he tweeted the picture of - yeah.

SAGAL: Yes, he did.

(LAUGHTER)

VOS: Is it Andrew?

SAGAL: Oh, close enough, it's Anthony Weiner. You know who he is.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Anthony Weiner.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We can only imagine what is going to be in the Anthony Weiner museum someday. It's been two years since Anthony Weiner's political career was destroyed by Anthony's wiener.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But thanks to an 8,000-word profile in the New York Times magazine, we now know we may not have seen the last of him. The piece is worth a read if only because the author of the article uses the phrase Clintonian rise when talking about Anthony Weiner without cracking up.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: This brother, Jason Weiner...

SAGAL: Yeah.

SALIE: ...sounds like he's the Billy Carter of this relationship. He also said that he's brothers a lot less douchy now.

SAGAL: Well, what he said was...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He was talking about how Anthony Weiner, because he was - if you may remember, that he was a congressman. He was very brash. He was very outspoken. He was constantly on cable news and the floor of the House, berating people and condemning his enemies and so on and so forth. And he's been humbled and he's changed and his brother says, quote, "There was definitely a douchiness about him I just don't really see anymore," unquote.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So it's not exactly Old Hickory or the Great Communicator, but slightly less douchy has some punch, I guess.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Could be a slogan.

BODDEN: What bigger endorsement do you need if you're going to be a mayor or something...

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: ...than he's less douchy than he used to be?

SAGAL: Yeah. Doesn't it also...

BODDEN: I'm just thinking, what was his level of douchiness then?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: I mean, to say he's less douchy now, well, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Isn't it like - is there a recovery program for douches?

BODDEN: Oh, no doubt.

SAGAL: Like a 12 Steps?

BODDEN: Listen, Tiger had to go through is sexual rehab.

SALIE: Eliot Spitzer.

SAGAL: Eliot Spitzer

BODDEN: And he's number one again. So douchy rehab might improve your life.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah. All right, Jen, here is your last quote.

KASELL: I'm just a white man, coming to you from the southland.

SAGAL: Those are the lyrics to a new song by Brad Paisley. It's called "Accidental Racist," and it made headlines this week because, accidentally or not, it seems to be pretty darn what?

VOS: Racist?

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The song starts with Paisley addressing the man serving him at Starbucks, saying he hopes he's not offended by his confederate flag shirt. He's not wearing it because he's racist, he's just, quote, "caught between Southern pride and Southern blame," unquote. Now, before you say Brad Paisley is just some obtuse white guy, he has LL Cool J come in and rap in the song. Yup, Brad Paisley is basically saying, some of my best friends are LL Cool J.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: And does LL Cool J say, don't be offended by my fist in your face?

SAGAL: Something - no.

BURBANK: He kind of does a little bit.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: He basically says - and my problem with the song is that LL Cool J does this rap that basically says, I'll forgive your confederate flag, which is, a lot of people would say a sign of the subjugation...

SAGAL: Yes.

BURBANK: ...of, like, a ton of people, and he says, if you forgive me for wearing a doo rag, which is just like a, basically a headwear choice.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: And that's the moral equivalency that I don't really get. It's sort of like, everybody made some mistakes.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: We all got out of hand. I'm like, I think most of the mistakes were by the people who owned other people.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: That seems like the majority of the mistakes are on that side of the ledger.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: Yeah, LL, I mean, that's what he's saying. He's like, OK, you can't prejudge me for wearing saggy pants or a doo rag and I won't prejudge you for wearing a confederate shirt. But, you know, like it's easy for LL to say that because he's like 6'6", 240 solid muscle.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: I forgive him for a lot.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: I'm like, if his pants want to sag, that's OK with me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: But if I see a little white guy in a confederate shirt, we're going to have a problem.

SAGAL: I understand.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Jen do on our quiz?

KASELL: Jen, you had three correct answers, so I'll be doing the message on your home answering machine.

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Jen.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "ACCIDENTAL RACIST")

Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
Support comes from: