And You Thought Your Co-Workers Had Lame Reasons For Absences

A British health care company has compiled some real doozies of excuses for missing work. Here are some interesting ones that appeared in The Daily Telegraph: My fish is sick, I've had a hair dye disaster, and a cup of baked beans landed on my big toe.

Copyright © 2013 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.

STEVE INSKEEP, HOST:

And let's go from small claims to false claims. Our Last Word In Business is all about faking it, and not making it, to work.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "SEINFELD")

JASON ALEXANDER: (As George) Shouldn't you be at work by now?

WAYNE KNIGHT: (As Newman) Work? It's raining.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

ALEXANDER: (As George) So?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

KNIGHT: (As Newman) I called in sick. I don't work in the rain.

ALEXANDER: (As George) You don't work in the rain? You're a mailman. Neither rain nor sleet nor - it's the first one!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

INSKEEP: OK. That excuse, heard on the TV show "Seinfeld" years ago, seems absurd. But here are some real excuses used for missing work, that a British health care company found in a survey. The Daily Telegraph listed them. Who knows? Some may be true.

The excuses include, "My trousers split on the way to work," "My fish is sick," "I've had a hair dye disaster," "A cup of baked beans landed on my big toe" - the big toe, remember that; "I've got a sore finger" and best of all, "I am hallucinating."

Please stay home.

That's the business news on MORNING EDITION, from NPR News. I'm Steve Inskeep.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and terms of use, and will be moderated prior to posting. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

Support comes from: