With The Beatles

Do you identify as a Beatles fan? Thought so. Listen as house musician Jonathan Coulton takes some of Fab Four's most beloved hits and transforms them into trivia questions about famous people. Is nothing sacred?

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

On our stage right now, we have Michael Tarasovic and Alexis Howe.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Welcome to you both. Alexis, you are a tax lawyer and you're in an indie pop band.

ALEXIS HOWE: That is true.

EISENBERG: What is the name of your tax company? No, what is the name of your band?

HOWE: It's Hearts Attack. It's that twe.

EISENBERG: Hearts Attack. There's an exclamation point in the middle.

Aww. And is the heart just a heart with an S?

HOWE: That's the whole logo.

EISENBERG: Oh, I love it.

HOWE: Get the t-shirts online.

EISENBERG: Michael, you're a Spanish teacher, but have you ever been in a band?

MICHAEL TARASOVIC: I have talked about being in a lot of bands.

JONATHAN COULTON: Yeah, that counts.

TARASOVIC: One of which was actually called Shark Attack, kind of like Hearts Attack.

EISENBERG: Michael, what would you be playing?

TARASOVIC: Guitar or singing or just like making stuff up.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Excellent. Well, our next quiz is titled "With the Beatles." Jonathan, I don't know why you say goodbye when I say hello.

COULTON: Yeah, I always say hello to you when you say hello to me. I don't know why you say I say goodbye when you say hello.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: In this game, we've tweaked the lyrics of Beatles' songs so that they refer to notable historical figures. So ring in at the end of each song and tell me which historical figure I am singing about.

(SOUNDBITE OF SINGING)

COULTON: Here come old stovetop. He got blue coat armies. He likes emancipation. He wants one whole nation. He said surrender now, General Lee. One thing I can tell you is they've got to be free.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael?

TARASOVIC: Abraham Lincoln.

COULTON: Abraham Lincoln is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: The Beatles are very proud right now.

(SOUNDBITE OF SINGING)

COULTON: My wife asked me what I wanted to be. I said baby, can't you see? I'm going to be famous, a star of industry, when I release my Model T. Baby, you can drive my car. It's going to make me a star. Baby, you can drive my car and baby, you'll love it.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexis?

HOWE: Henry Ford.

COULTON: Henry Ford.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: You guys can sing your answers too, if you feel like it.

(SOUNDBITE OF SINGING)

COULTON: Henry, Henry Ford.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I once made a scream. Or should I say it once made me? I painted it good, now it is framed in Norwegian wood.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexis?

HOWE: Edvard Munch.

COULTON: Edvard Munch.

EISENBERG: Yes.

COULTON: Extra credit for the pronunciation. Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: He painted it good.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: I painted it good.

EISENBERG: I painted it good.

(SOUNDBITE OF SINGING)

COULTON: Words are flowing out my mouth and fill my cosmos TV show. They slither wildly as I teach you all about the universe. Guru diva, oh, billions and billions of stars, billions and billions of stars.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexis?

HOWE: Carl Sagan.

COULTON: Carl Sagan is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF SINGING)

COULTON: Getting better all the time. I used to help treat soldier's wounds. The Crimean war they ballooned. I wrote what I learned, for better or worse. I taught you how to be a nurse. You have to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexis?

HOWE: Florence Nightingale.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I know that, you know, you guys feel like we're doing something to you specifically when playing this game, but we are actually doing a lot to you, Jonathan Coulton.

COULTON: Yes, yes.

EISENBERG: We are doing a lot to you.

COULTON: I was joking in the rehearsal, we should call this game "Sorry Beatles."

EISENBERG: Remember your songs? Look what we did to them.

COULTON: Look what we did.

(SOUNDBITE OF SINGING)

COULTON: You say a revolution, well, you know, we're going to bring Batista down. You tell me Marxist delusion, well, you know, me and Castro run this town now. If you want an insurgency in Bolivia, can't think of a word that rhymes with Bolivia.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Alexis?

HOWE: Che Guevara.

COULTON: Yes, you're right.

(APPLAUSE)

HOWE: I added the...

EISENBERG: I know. It was nice, yeah. He's not just a face on an ironic t-shirt is he?

HOWE: Yeah.

EISENBERG: No, he's also...

COULTON: A real dude. Turns out, a real dude.

HOWE: Yeah, I didn't know. I just thought it was like the hat, it just looked good.

COULTON: It was mostly about the hat.

(SOUNDBITE OF SINGING)

COULTON: It's a thrilling story about a busy guy. He can't leave the firm or he's going to die. He was played in the movie by a man named Cruise. I make a ton of dough because I want to be a paperback writer.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Michael?

TARASOVIC: John Grisham.

COULTON: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Art, how did they do?

ART CHUNG: The winner is Alexis.

EISENBERG: Congratulations, Alexis. You'll be moving on to our final round at the end of the show.

(APPLAUSE)

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