Just Do It?

Ever heard of uptalk? Like, you know, when Valley girls' voices go up at the end of every sentence? So that it always sounds like they're asking a question? With a little help from V.I.P. Michael Ian Black, host Ophira Eisenberg re-imagines famous advertising slogans as if they were delivered by a demographic that's "totally tubular."

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Welcome back to ASK ME ANOTHER, NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia. I'm Ophira Eisenberg and with me on our stage is our very important puzzler, Michael Ian Black.

MICHAEL IAN BLACK: Hello.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: So Michael, we thought that before we throw you in the puzzle pit, we'd make you run a game with us. We're going to first, welcome our contestants that are going to play this game. Let's welcome Andrew Sommerfeld and Erica Pietricola.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Erica, I enjoy last name and I am told you have a very strange nickname, E-M-D-B. That's a family nickname.

ERICA HANSON PIETRICOLA: Yes.

EISENBERG: What does E-M-D-B stand for?

PIETRICOLA: My father doesn't use IMDB.com. He calls me on the phone when he has a question. He's like "who is that person in that movie that did that thing?"

(LAUGHTER)

PIETRICOLA: And I can always figure out who that person was who was in that movie who did that thing.

EISENBERG: So, does he have a computer?

PIETRICOLA: Yes.

EISENBERG: Oh, okay, you just...

PIETRICOLA: But he kind of fat fingers everything, so...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Aw.

PIETRICOLA: I love my dad.

EISENBERG: That's adorable.

PIETRICOLA: It's so cute. There's always like a finger in the photo, you know.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Andrew, do you have a family nickname?

ANDREW SOMMERFELD: I don't have a family nickname. I have a nickname at work.

EISENBERG: Okay, what's your nickname at work?

SOMMERFELD: They call me the goog.

EISENBERG: The goog.

SOMMERFELD: Because I have my smart phone and I Google everything, anytime there's a question. So I'm...

EISENBERG: You guys are both people with answers. Good.

SOMMERFELD: Let's hope we have the answers here.

PIETRICOLA: That's a lot of pressure.

EISENBERG: Well you are Google and IMDB free on this next game. This next game has to do with a little something called uptalk. Like, you know, when teenage girls' voices go up on the end of everything. No matter what they say, it always sounds like a question.

So in this game, we imagine what famous advertising slogans might sound like if they had Valley girls say them. Like suddenly, a powerful command like "just do it" becomes "just do it?"

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Or for example, if we said a computer company wonders whether you should have unique ideas, you would say "think different." So you're going to go up on the end like that. And we are looking just for the slogans, not the companies. And Michael is going to help me here.

BLACK: I guess?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: And do alternate questions.

BLACK: Okay, I guess, all right.

EISENBERG: A famous newspaper might have all the stories that are suitable to read?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Andrew?

SOMMERFELD: Like all the news that's fit to print?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BLACK: For sure.

EISENBERG: Totally right.

BLACK: The goog.

EISENBERG: The goog.

(LAUGHTER)

BLACK: A breakfast chain wonders if the US is fueled by them?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Andrew?

SOMMERFELD: Like America totally runs on Dunkin'?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Like you're way too good at that?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: A precious stone monopoly thinks maybe their product will last an eternity?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Erica?

PIETRICOLA: A diamond is forever?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Correct.

BLACK: A long distance telephone company asks you to extend a hand and contact a person?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Erica?

PIETRICOLA: Reach out and touch someone?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Yes. But if I'm going to let someone reach out and touch me, like they have to buy me something, you know?

PIETRICOLA: Yeah, like, totally.

EISENBERG: Totally.

BLACK: There's this guy in my chemistry class and I totally wish he would reach out and touch me.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It is always chemistry, isn't it? It's always chemistry. Paid for by farmers, these ads want you to try the alternative, colorless protein?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Erica?

PIETRICOLA: Pork, it's what's for dinner?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: You're very close. It's not exactly the slogan. The alternative colorless protein?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Andrew for the steal.

SOMMERFELD: Pork, it's what's for dinner?

PIETRICOLA: That's what I said.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: That's what Erica said.

PIETRICOLA: I know it. I know it. I know it.

EISENBERG: Okay, I'm sorry. You already gave the wrong answer, but you can give it to me.

PIETRICOLA: It's pork, the other white meat.

EISENBERG: Ah, there you go.

PIETRICOLA: It's beef, it's what's for dinner.

EISENBERG: Beef, it's what's for dinner.

PIETRICOLA: That has color.

EISENBERG: That does have color.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I know, a colorless protein just sounds terrible though.

BLACK: All right, are you guys ready for your next question? A restaurant chain's poultry might be hand lapping tasty?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Andrew?

SOMMERFELD: It's totally finger licking good.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: For a popular beer brand, some people say it has flavor? Some people say it leaves room?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Andrew?

SOMMERFELD: It tastes great or less filling?

EISENBERG: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

BLACK: Yeah, maybe it's the first meal of the day for winners.

EISENBERG: That was the question.

PIETRICOLA: That was a question.

EISENBERG: Yeah, that was the...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SOMMERFELD: It's like the breakfast of champions?

EISENBERG: Oh my god, it's totally the breakfast of champions.

SOMMERFELD: Totally.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: That's Wheaties. Andrew, you are the winner of this round. Congratulations, you are the teenager of the year, moving on to our Ask Me One More final round.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Thank you so much, Erica. Thank you, Michael Ian Black.

(APPLAUSE)

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