Foodie Can't Fail

What do Honeycrisp, Gala, and McIntosh have in common? They're all types of apples. Whether or not you consider yourself a "foodie," if you like to eat, this game will make your mouth water. Host Ophira Eisenberg lists three varieties of a type of food, and contestants must identify the delectable edible.

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

On stage right now we have Joelyn Wilkosz and Emma Schwartz.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Hello, ladies.

EMMA SCHWARTZ: Hello.

JOELYN WILKOSZ: Hi.

EISENBERG: I'm going to let you in on a secret. We put both of you in this particular game because you're both big cooks. You guys are into food. But do you consider yourself foodies? Emma?

SCHWARTZ: Embarrassingly, yes. That term is just - it's a little played out.

EISENBERG: It's a little played out?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: We've gotten to that point in society where food...

SCHWARTZ: I think so.

EISENBERG: Yeah? What's the new one?

SCHWARTZ: I don't know.

EISENBERG: Yeah. I know.

SCHWARTZ: Hungry.

EISENBERG: Hungry. Just really ravenous.

WILKOSZ: I don't think I'm a foodie because I will never put a tangerine infusion where I could put bacon.

EISENBERG: Ah, yes.

WILKOSZ: Bacon will always win. So I think I'm a gourmand rather than a foodie.

EISENBERG: Bacon will always win was the name of my first one-person show. So I'm with you.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Our next game is called Foodie Can't Fail. Let's face it: We're all foodies now. Gone are the days when the avocado was considered exotic. For this next game we're going to quiz your food knowledge. We're going to list various varieties of one type of food and ask you to name it. For example, if the clue was Honeycrisp, Gala, and McIntosh, you would say apples. Those would be types of apples. Let's do it.

Yellowfin, Fingerling, Russet Burbank.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Joelyn.

WILKOSZ: Potato.

EISENBERG: Potato is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

JONATHAN COULTON: Here is your bonus potato-related question. When Mr. Potato Head became a spokesspud for the American Cancer in 1987, he got rid of which of his add-on toy parts?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Joelyn?

WILKOSZ: His cigar? His cigarette?

(LAUGHTER)

WILKOSZ: His cigarillo?

(LAUGHTER)

WILKOSZ: His cigarette holder?

COULTON: These are all good guesses. I have to go to the judge on this.

ART CHUNG: I think we don't have an answer.

COULTON: No, I don't think so. It was his pipe. We're looking for pipe.

WILKOSZ: Ah.

EISENBERG: Koshihikari, mochi, Arborio.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Emma.

SCHWARTZ: Rice.

EISENBERG: Rice.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: The smartest rice in the world is Condoleezza Rice. I just read what's in front of me. I don't know.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: So can you spell Condoleezza?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Joelyn.

WILKOSZ: Condoleezza. C-O-N-D-L-E-E-Z-A. Condoleeza.

COULTON: No, I'm sorry. That is incorrect.

WILKOSZ: Oh!

(SOUNDBITE OF AWWS)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

WILKOSZ: No points for form?

COULTON: Emma?

SCHWARTZ: C-O-N-D-A-L-E-E-Z-A?

COULTON: No, that is not right, either. It's harder than you would think.

SCHWARTZ: I remember that it's hard but I don't know what it is.

COULTON: There are two Zs in Condoleezza.

SCHWARTZ: Oh. Her mother.

COULTON: Oh.

EISENBERG: Yeah, yeah.

COULTON: The audience is disgusted.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Yeah, exactly. I don't think so. That's what the audience is saying. I don't think so.

CHUNG: Can you spell the whole thing, Jonathan?

COULTON: Right. So it is spelled C-O-N-D-O-L-E-E-Z-Z-A.

EISENBERG: Naked Roy's Beach, Blue Point, Wellfleet.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Emma.

SCHWARTZ: Oysters.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Jonathan Swift famously wrote: He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. He also gave dining advice in his satirical essay "A Modest Proposal" in which he suggested that rich people eat what?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Emma?

SCHWARTZ: Money.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: That was another fantastic answer.

EISENBERG: Yeah, I like that. It's a good idea.

COULTON: It is incorrect, however. Joelyn?

WILKOSZ: I got nothing.

COULTON: OK. Audience?

UNIDENTIFIED MEN AND WOMEN: Babies.

COULTON: Babies. That's right. Babies.

EISENBERG: Kishka, Andouille, Braunschweiger.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Joelyn.

WILKOSZ: Sausage.

EISENBERG: Correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: In English, Weiner means a politician who resigned due to a sexting scandal.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: But in German, wiener means a person or thing from what city?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Emma?

SCHWARTZ: Berlin?

COULTON: No, I'm sorry. Joelyn?

WILKOSZ: Ugh. That's all I got. Yeah.

COULTON: Yeah. That is not a German city. Wiener. What if I say Wiener? What if I just keep saying wiener over and over again?

(LAUGHTER)

SCHWARTZ: It's getting weirder.

COULTON: Yeah. I know. I'll throw it out to the audience.

UNIDENTIFIED MEN AND WOMEN: Vienna.

WILKOSZ: Vienna.

COULTON: Vienna is right.

EISENBERG: Wahoo, mullet, crappe.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Emma.

SCHWARTZ: Fish?

EISENBERG: Fish is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: According to Benjamin Franklin, aside from fish what also begins to smell after three days?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Emma, I cannot wait to hear your answer.

(LAUGHTER)

SCHWARTZ: Colonial America.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: It's correct but not the answer we're looking for. Joelyn?

WILKOSZ: House guests.

COULTON: That's right. House guests.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Sprints, Double Gloucester, cambazola.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Joelyn.

WILKOSZ: Cheese.

EISENBERG: Cheese. Correct.

COULTON: In the U.S. it is a custom to say cheese when your photo is being taken. In Korea it is customary to say what fermented vegetable dish?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Emma.

SCHWARTZ: Kimchi.

COULTON: Kimchi. That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Art, where are we with this game here?

CHUNG: We are actually at a tie.

EISENBERG: Whoa.

COULTON: Oh, my goodness. Do you have a tie-breaker question for us?

CHUNG: I have a tie-breaker. Walla Walla, Maui, Vidalia.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

CHUNG: Emma.

SCHWARTZ: Onion?

CHUNG: Those are onions and you're our winner.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Joelyn, amazing job. So close. Emma, you will be moving on to our final round at the end of the show.

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