I'm No Doctor

  • Playlist
  • Download
  • Embed
    <iframe src="http://www.npr.org/player/embed/207885879/207885825" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript

Careful, this game might raise your blood pressure. In this Ask Me One More final round led by puzzle guru John Chaneski, contestants must identify fake doctors—and by that we mean notable people and fictional characters who have the initials "M.D."


Now we're going to crown this week's grand champion. Let's bring back from Breaking It Down, Avidan Ackerson. From Generically Speaking, Erin Barker. From Algebraic Music, Diane Firstman. From Real Housewives, John Rennie. And from Hollywood Formulas Chris Kairalla.


EISENBERG: I want to ask our puzzle guru John Chaneski to take us out and crown a winner.

JOHN CHANESKI: This final round is called I'm No Doctor, But. For most people, it takes seven years of higher learning to become a doctor, but these notable people and fictional characters gamed the system by having the initials M.D. So contestants, you have to identify these fake doctors. For example, if I said he's the former Chicago Bears coach with a pack of super fans on "SNL," you'd say Mike Ditka.

We're playing this spelling bee style, so one wrong answer and you're out. You'll only have a few seconds to give us an answer. Last person standing is our grand winner. Remember, all of the answers are real people or fictional characters with the initials M.D. Here we go. Avidan, this actor played the title role in three Jason Bourne movies.




CHANESKI: Erin, the actor in the movie "Wall Street" who said greed is good.

ERIN BARKER: Michael Douglas.



CHANESKI: Diane, it was the aquatic archenemy of Captain Ahab.




CHANESKI: John, this actor appeared in "The Outsiders," "Singles," and "There's Something About Mary." Three seconds.

JOHN RENNIE: Mike. Mike...


RENNIE: Dukakis.

CHANESKI: No. Sorry, no.



CHANESKI: Sorry, John. Step aside for a second. Let's see if Chris can get this one. Chris, the actor who appeared in "The Outsiders," "Singles," and "There's Something About Mary." Three seconds.


CHANESKI: OK. Let's see if Avidan knows. Let's see if Erin knows the answer. Erin? The actor who appeared in "The Outsiders," "Singles," and "There's Something About Mary."

BARKER: Matt Dillon.

CHANESKI: Matt Dillon is correct.


CHANESKI: Now, we have to say good-bye to John, Chris, and Avidan.


CHANESKI: Sorry, guys. But Diane and Erin are still on the stage. We're down to two.


CHANESKI: That was fast. Sometimes math is fast. Here we go. Diane, he was the Democratic nominee for president in 1988.


FIRSTMAN: Michael Dukakis.

CHANESKI: That was the time for Michael Dukakis.


CHANESKI: Erin, what Joan Crawford's daughter sarcastically called her in the title of a 1978 tell-all book.

BARKER: Mommy Dearest.

CHANESKI: That's right.


CHANESKI: Diane, a popular rapper who now goes by the name Yaseen Bay, he starred in the 2005 film "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."


CHANESKI: That is Mos Def-initely the right answer.


CHANESKI: Erin, she's a Pulitzer Prize-winning op ed redhead for the New York Times. Three seconds. Let's see if Diane knows. She's a Pulitzer-Prize winning op ed writer for the New York Times.

FIRSTMAN: Maureen Dowd.

CHANESKI: Maureen Dowd is correct.


CHANESKI: Erin, thank you for playing. And Diane is our winner.

EISENBERG: Congratulations, Diane. You are an ASK ME ANOTHER big winner. You are getting a copy of our VIP Steven Strogatz's book "The Joy of X" plus Steven will give you your own personal math therapy session...


EISENBERG: ...to help you get over your own specific math anxiety or take your solving techniques to the next level. Congratulations.


EISENBERG: That's all we have for you today but you can be a puzzle player any time, any place. Just take us with you by downloading our podcast or you can find us on Facebook or Twitter. Just look around for npraskmeanother.


Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio.



Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and Terms of Use. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.

NPR thanks our sponsors

Become an NPR sponsor

Support comes from