Panel Round Two
CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Hannibal Burress, Jessi Klein, and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you Carl.
SAGAL: Thanks everybody. In just a minute, Carl renews his subscription to High Rhymes Magazine in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Brian, Amazon prides itself on being on the cutting edge of customer service and may have outdone themselves with the announcement that they'll start shipping customers' packages when?
BRIAN BABYLON: Like, before they even think about it.
SAGAL: Before they order it.
SAGAL: It's based on a combination of your previous purchases, wish lists that you've made and how long your mouse hovers over certain items when you're browsing. Amazon calls it anticipatory shipping or knowing your deepest and most shameful desires.
SAGAL: And the way it works is, you know, Amazon collects and collates all that data and they anticipate your future purchases. And they ship those things to a shipping center near you so it's ready as soon as you want it. So like, let's say you bought the Star Wars role-playing game Rulebook and your very own Dr. Who replica sonic screwdriver. So it pre-ships you a copy of microwave cooking for one.
BABYLON: Oh, nerds.
BABYLON: Oh, oh, I better - that's why I'm getting little yoga pants shipped to the office.
BABYLON: So is that - I mean, do you think there's, like, some robot back there like...
SAGAL: Well, I mean, it's like artificial intelligence. Computers are like, well, Brian's ordered this, Brian's ordered that, Brian's ordered this so we anticipate, based on our data, that he will next order this thing.
BABYLON: See and that's how robots become aware, man. We got to stop stuff like this.
BABYLON: We're going too far.
SAGAL: Do you - you're telling me that the robots eventually are going to rise up by sending us, like, the complete run of Degrassi High before we tell it that we want it?
BABYLON: Yep, they'll just ruin our credit and then we're going to have to live in caves.
HANNIBAL BURRESS: I wish that Amazon would send me some jokes about this topic.
BURRESS: I got nothing.
SAGAL: Hannibal, this week a well-known one-time heavy-user of marijuana argued that pot is in fact not as bad for you as alcohol and punishments for using it should be reduced. Who is this helpless stoner?
BURRESS: Nancy Grace?
SAGAL: No, but I'm really struck by how awesome that would be.
SAGAL: Somebody even more well known than Nancy Grace. Think of his as our stoner-in-chief.
BURRESS: Oh, Bill Clinton.
SAGAL: Actually, I can quote - I can actually quote the person we're talking about because he said - in reference to Bill Clinton he said, well of course I inhaled. That was the point.
SAGAL: So not Bill Clinton but somebody else.
BURRESS: We can't move along? I missed it a few times already.
JESSI KLEIN: I'm ready to buzz in. I'm ready to buzz in.
SAGAL: You just want to walk away? We're very generous on this show. All right, Jessi?
KLEIN: President Barack Obama.
SAGAL: Indeed, yes. President Obama.
KLEIN: Drug addict Barack Obama.
SAGAL: In an interview with David Remnick of the New Yorker, President Obama gave the message to our little boys and girls that marijuana is, to use the language of the drug culture, cool.
BABYLON: He's going too far now.
SAGAL: You think so?
BABYLON: No, I'm just kidding.
KLEIN: But it was just Michelle's 50th birthday. I can see them smoking a little pot for Michelle's birthday.
BURRESS: Also, you know, nobody drug tests the president.
SAGAL: That's true.
BURRESS: But I always thought, like, those old timey guys had those little, like, you know, those little snuff.
SAGAL: You just made a snuff gesture.
BURRESS: Yeah, like - those kind of like little like Benjamin Franklin. I think he got...
SAGAL: You think so, Ben Franklin? Oh yeah.
BURRESS: Out there with the kite and the keys and stuff. That's...
SAGAL: Brian, this week, we learned something that may retroactively ruin your childhood. Kellogg's has announced - or I should say admitted that Froot Loops are what?
BABYLON: It's not like a plot or nothing.
SAGAL: I'm trying to imagine what a Froot Loops-based plot would be.
BABYLON: Oh, all right. Give me a hint.
SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Well, this really only applies to the people who would, like, sit and pick out the red ones say, because those were their favorites.
BABYLON: Wow, I knew this the whole...
BABYLON: ...I knew this the whole time as a child. They were all the same flavor.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
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KLEIN: They're all the same flavor?
BABYLON: I knew that. I knew that.
SAGAL: Froot Loops, it advertised all the fruit flavors and you get the red ones and the blue ones and whatever. Kellogg's has finally admitted that there's absolutely no difference in flavor between the individual colors of Froot Loops.
BURRESS: Oh, man.
SAGAL: I can't believe this. It's like you cannot trust a thing that talking cartoon bird said.
BABYLON: You know, I don't even think Snap, Crackle and Pop are even related.
KLEIN: Why, were they saying they were related?
BABYLON: They implied it. They implied that they were brought up...
KLEIN: They strongly implied it.
BABYLON: They just three small little dudes cutting up.
SAGAL: I bet Count Chocula was not really European nobility.
BABYLON: He was some weirdo black dude with fangs.
SAGAL: Oh, that's terrible.
BABYLON: I meant, listen, as a child I had on a lab coat and just rolled the Froot Loops and taste tests and clipboards. I knew this.
SAGAL: Did you? You were interested in (unintelligible) ...
BABYLON: Yeah, I was like, this is not adding up.
BURRESS: This other stuff was fun in jokes but this one is kind of bumming me out a little bit.
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