Junk In The Trunk

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Two time Oakland Grand Slam Poetry Champion, writer, jazz artist, and teacher, Joyce Lee wondered who to trust... her boyfriend, or Mr. Policeman.


Trust nobody, at least not anyone with a beautiful smile. And now for our next story, may I advise that those of sensitive disposition and youngsters, please note that listener discretion is advised. But for everyone else, get ready. We're going to SNAP JUDGMENT live for our very own queen of soul. I proudly present Ms. Joyce Lee.


JOYCE LEE: So what had happened was, I was looking for love or something real close to it when I met Damien (ph). We caught eyes at a mutual friend's birthday party. And he was fine. Damien stood about 6'3", eyes green, shaved clean, with muscles all in between. So we talked a bit. I felt comfortable giving him my number by the end of the night. A week later, we went out on dates, and Damien was a perfect gentleman. He would bring me flowers, surprise dinners, take me to places I'd never seen in the city. Did I mention he was fine? Until one night, I had to perform poetry at a gentlemen's club in San Francisco.

Now because it's a gentleman's club and I like for my attire to match my atmosphere, I was dressed like a ho. And being the awesome girlfriend that I am, I invited Damien to join me. But I told him that I had some things to do early in the morning so he would have to take me straight home after the poetry event. He said OK. But afterwards, he wanted to take me to this dance club, just for a second, he said. Just for a second. So we went to the dance club.

And I waited and waited and waited. But about 2 a.m., I'm starting to fume. And just when I turn to give him this, you know, we-need-to-hurry-up-and-go look, this joker did a line of cocaine right in front of me. I got up from my seat. I was like, you're doing coke. I'm leaving right now. We get in the car, and we are arguing. We're arguing through the city, over the bridge. Every time, I complete the argument by saying it don't matter, honey, we're done, he starts the argument all over again.

But the bickering stops when we get blurped by a cop car. Damien pulls over. The cops run his license, and before I can get a hold of what really is going on in the situation, he's handcuffed and sitting in the back of a cop car. I am still in the front of the car, hands up, scared to death and dressed like a ho.


LEE: Did I mention that it's 4 o'clock in the morning by now, and we are in Oakland? By this time, there are seven cops. The one that wasn't white comes to my side of the car and motions for me to roll down my window. And he whispers, slowly get out of the car and stand next to me. I'm afraid, but I don't know who else to trust in the situation. So I do what he tells me to do. The other cops start searching Damien's car. I ask the cop, am I in trouble? He says, I don't know. And I told him, listen, I'm freezing cold. And he takes a long look at my ho-tire, and he says, well, I got the heater on in the back of my patrol car if you want to sit there.

I said, no thank you. So at this time, the cops are done searching Damien's car. And I've collected about 16 protein shake containers from Damien's car. I've personally seen him scoop out powders and make shakes from these containers. So when I saw them in the car, I was thinking maybe the brother likes to recycle. A cop opens a protein container and pulls out about eight ounces of marijuana. I gasp. He opens up another container, pulls out bags and bags of cocaine. I gasp. Another, he - pills, pills, marijuana, coke, pills. At this time, my gasps have turned into a full-fledged hyperventilating panic attack.

I am sitting on the concrete with one hand over my heart and the other over my mouth. Until the cops stop flashing the lights on the drugs and flash them on me. The cop next to me grabs me. And he says, I'm assuming you do not know this gentleman. I said, apparently, I don't. He said, be honest. Did you know those drugs were in the car? And I said, hell no, sir. After signing a sworn statement, I asked the cop, may I please talk to this jackass that I do not know? So he takes me over to the car. They got to roll down the window for Damien's pathetic [bleep]. So he's looking at me, and I'm giving him a look like - and then he starts explaining. Well, you know, baby, I really heard what you were saying in the car, and I'm going to really change. I said, you know what, Dame?

That's not the time to be making promises to me. And he was like, well, sweetie, could you do me a favor and could you call my mama? I said, I don't know her. I'm not calling. No, I don't know her. Well, could you call me my cousin? I said, no, I don't know her either. He said, well, damn, baby, can you do me a favor and can you call my wife? I grinned. I took down his wife's number. And when the cops took Damien to jail and the sweet cop took me home in the backseat of his heated car, I called his wife and we had dinner. I held her hand throughout the divorce, and we are still friends today. That is my true confession.


WASHINGTON: The amazing Joyce Lee from SNAP JUDGMENT Live. The original score for that piece was written and composed by Alex Mandel and performed by Alex Mandel and the SNAP JUDGMENT players Tim Frick and David Brandt.


WASHINGTON: Now, when SNAP returns, we've got a story of equal parts despair and hope. I think you're going to dig it. Trust me. When SNAP JUDGMENT storytelling with a beat continues. Stay tuned.


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